Rewrite Your Story

book_blankSomeone asked me the other day why we blog?

“Do you think we are self-absorbed for blogging?”

Is that what blogging is? or any writing for that matter – just the pure enjoyment of micro-focusing on ourselves and then expounding on our self important opinions? Are we really so enamoured with our own stories? because mostly the stories we have told ourselves are false.

Does blogging mean we are narcissistic?

I don’t think so. In fact, it may be the exact opposite, where the micro-focus of writing allows us to move and see past ourselves and put us in a position to begin to rewrite the story we tell about ourselves.

I use writing and blogging to get me out of depression. In my experience, depression is the extreme of all self-micro focuses.  You look and can see only yourself, your suffering and how small you are in the scheme of things. Depression brings on hopelessness and feelings of futility.  Writing helps me to take my perspective to a wider place and see more than just me and my thoughts.

Let’s face it – Depression is an epidemic on this planet – which I believe the entire world suffers from in some way, certainly our governments do. The world has wrong thinking – and so do we.

Writing can help realign your thoughts with your conscious beliefs to what you know is true – as opposed to all the lies the mind tells.

Depression manifests in everyone as  PURE dysfunctional thought. It can arise because of biochemistry or events, but in effect, it all happens in the mind. When I get caught up in these thoughts, like they are reality or something, and I identify with them as truth – then things get dangerous.

My mind tells me stuff like;

“You are useless, you have no purpose. Everyone hates you.  Your life is meaningless. You are unlovable. You are talentless. You are….”

Deadly stuff. And not the truth – but if I see only myself and only my small world and small problems, it begins to sound like truth and then I begin to make choices based on my mind believing those things about me are true.

Let’s face it – if another person said these things to me, I would not handle it well.

Writing takes the self-destructive and false tales we tell ourselves out of the head, on to the paper and into the light.  Writing helps us to realign our story with truth – and in this way we can rewrite our stories.  Rewriting your story means choosing to see what you have seen in one way differently. For example, take negative emotions.

In the past you may have  a bad feeling, it comes up – and you try to make it go away. You fix it, cover it up and eliminate it. Another way of seeing negative emotions is that when one comes up, you can take time with it, just observe it and let it tell you what you need. Emotions are needs expressing themselves outwards. depression is anger turned inwards. Sometimes to get to the anger (the reason why you are angry) and the details which may have occurred long ago, it is necessary to go through feelings that seem irrational. Writing can help illustrate and sort of what may feel completely chaotic in the mind.

You don’t wish depression away.  What you focus on grows.

You don’t think it away or cover it up. It’s too big for that. Plus – what you focus on grows!

You don’t deny it – because even if you’re not focusing on it, depression left unchecked running rampant in the mind will grow like a cancer – in fact will cause cancer. deadly stuff.

What do you do with your depression?

you see that it adds to your life. that it is a form of communication that your body and mind are having with You. Use your depression to learn about compassion and empathy – starting with yourself.

What you do with depression?  Write about it. Paint about it. Sing about it. and ultimately…You love it into submission.

Here’s a scary fact…

The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that each year approximately one million people die from suicide, which represents a global mortality rate of 16 people per 100,000 or one death every 40 seconds. It is predicted that by 2020 the rate of death will increase to one every 20 seconds.

Life is hard enough – we need to help each other. Start by writing about your experiences – it will help you and maybe even someone else who just needs to feel like they are not the only ones on the planet feeling like they are.

We need to rewrite the story we tell about our human history – our world is in deep trouble.  But in order to do that, we must begin by rewriting the story we tell about ourselves. One person at a time, I’d like to say my life helped contribute to decreasing the rate of unhappiness while I was here just by being able to share myself in some way.

Hope you smile allot today!

Peace – from the flip side.






Real Life Interlude: “Good Job!”

I decided last week I was getting a job– a DAY job (dum dum dum…ominous music)…like a grown up.  Something reliable, and scheduled with a boss that tell you:

“GOOD JOB!” and pats you on the back and smiles at you.

A boss that inspires you to work harder, and gives you mundane tasks that allow you to keep your mind off the bigger issues of the world.

I like bosses and it’s been a long long time since I’ve had one (aside from my kids) – but kids don’t tell you “Good Job!”. So i wanted a boss because bosses are nicer generally.  3814996352_f42f9795c3_b

Sometimes a very nice boss will bring you out for lunch and feed you good food because you have done a “good job!”.  In the “real world” when you do a “good job!”they give you money because you are doing something productive and purposeful! It’s wonderful! Unlike in music where I am paid the same wages musicians were paid in 1975.

After raising seven kids and two marriages for a combined total of 30 years – you may understand why i would be seeking this kind of outside reinforcement. Some “purposeful normalcy”,  I call it.

So I look for a good job because I have a good education I decide I am not going to settle, but will look for a job that really turns me on.
hmm…(what can turn me on more than music an writing and art…?? and learn…)
So I find a company with ahead office near me here who specialize in musical instruments for the educational field. WOW! I thought..perfect!
I fancy up my CV, send it in and even follow up with a very ‘sure of myself” sounding message that said something like:

“Hi, My name is blah blah, and I am sure I’m supposed to work for you guys! I am perfect please just throw away the other CV’s because you just won’t find anyone like me”.

I seriously couldn’t believe I said those things in the message, but I actually meant it. After years of being both a musician and a high school sub, even in the music department, I could see myself communicating with schools, making sure all the kids treated their instruments properly, dealing with client questions and stuff. I felt perfect.

Segue to today and I get a phone call from them in response to my CV. A very nice young lady on the other end of the line pre-screens me, and asks me to tell her about myself.
“How much do you want to know?”, I ask her honestly.
“As much as you want” she says laughing a little.
I tell her stuff like…
“I’m a Mom. Seven kids, was a teacher. I have a farm. rehabilitate horses. I have a band. I sing all over. I am doing an album – or two. I am writing a book – yes my kids are all grown. Spent last year in Australia…

As I am talking I think –

“Wow – I have a great fuckin’ life. This kid is going to be jealous and not even let me interview!” Then I hope i inspire her somehow to follow her own passion. Not a normal interview.
She waits for me to finish, which by the end of I’m trying to downplay, but my life is so awesome and extraordinary, it isn’t working…
So she says:
“OK, let me tell you abit about the job”.

I hear these words…
“Inside, computer, data entry, client complaints, answer phones, precision…”

I was stuck at “inside”…

“Um…we both know this is the wrong job for me right?” i say cutting her off gently. no need to waste anyone’s time.
I can practically hear her smile.
“I’m the other person”, I tell her. “I’m the one that is calling into the office, that is OUT THERE, in the WORLD meeting people, starting projects, excavating new opportunities – I am THAT person”.

“Ayup”. she says.

A moment of silence, and all of a sudden she isn’t pre-screening me, all of a sudden we are kind of like friends.
“Oh my god”, I say surprising myself. “Maybe I can never fit into any normal place again!” expressing out loud my deepest fear – that after this many years of being an artsy kid raising horse farmer mom – i can never fit into “that world” again.

Ya think?

“Maybe you’re not meant to.” she replies to me.

“Can i give you some advice?” She says to me

“Sure,” I say.

“Don’t settle. You sound like you have allot to offer and some great energy. just don’t settle”.

Good advice.

There is a bigger picture in life – and it is  FABULOUS – but we are not in charge.

What an amazing adventure. I hope you are enjoying the ride.

Now…back to writing my book. RealWorldSign