As I arrived from work finding my kids having made dinner for us, the house was FULL to overflowing with people – dear friends, seven kids, three grandchildren, cars, basketballs, food, good smells and happy people – coming home felt wonderful.
We sat around the table, and each spoke our traditional words of gratitude – my m,other’s tradition that we love and adhere to.
“I am grateful that my family is always there for me”,
“I’m grateful for this food…can I eat now?”
I am grateful for my hot boyfriend…”
I am grateful for my job and food and you guys – this is the best family eh?”
And finally my youngest daughter at the very end with tears running down her cheeks
“I am so grateful we could find a way to be happy again after nanny…”
After Nanny passing away.
After nanny not here at the table to lead prayers and talk about corn fritters
there is NO after nanny!
She helped us build this solid tribe – this certain community – this massive group of love.
There is a continuation of Nanny –
in my children’s words, in our food, our traditions and in our deep love for each other.
I am blessed beyond description.
and overflowing with gratitude.
I walked into the kitchen just so I could listen to them laugh – their beautiful voices. Oh so happy.
I felt loved and surrounded by a solid tribe – my own tribe.
For 25 years I have been parenting these humans. I want to make good people. I don’t care what they do for a living. I don’t care if they are “successful” (whatever that means) I don’t care if they are renown and I don’t care if they are respected in their field.
I care that they know how to love themselves, each other and the world around them. Period.
My only hope in all of that effort (and yes HUGE effort) was that at the end of the day three things would happen:
1- my kids would all like each other enough to hold each other up through this life
2- we would enjoy each other as a family because we really like each other – not just because we have to
3- that they can tell my husband and I anything and not be afraid of rejection or pain
OK…we did it.
I feel like Mother Zeus standing victoriously on a gigantic mountain brandishing the great flaming spear of motherhood and I am declaring -YES! IT CAN BE DONE! Behold – the awesome children!! They are AMAZING !
ANd my voice would echo throughout the lands so moms everywhere would know – there is alight at the end of the tunnel and that light is BEAUTIFUL.