Someone said to me recently in my writer’s group that the more opinionated our writing, the LESS universal it becomes. It alienates people.
So, I have been quiet lately. Trying not to say too much, or not have too many opinions. It’s hard with the world in such a frazzle. But I try not to talk about myself or write about myself too much. I think north Americans have become narcissistic and self indulgent to such an extent that we are sharing some sort of mass hallucinations about who we are. Those hallucinations are governed by the state. I know this may sound crazy paranoid to you now but this is how government gets their message across, through popular films and the media. Its how they decide what is real for you. Censor boards etc,..
But the thing they have pushed for so long – Nationalistic pride – is finished. Done with. It no longer serves a purpose, that why it has fallen away for so many of you. You used to feel a great desire to associate with being one or another nationality, but now this is no longer purposeful because our minds are awakening to who we really are – which is not our name, or our country – or even our bodies. We have much more in common than those menial aspects of self. In today’s vibrant changing climate it makes more sense to find the commonalities between us rather than to find the superiority amongst us.
My living hypothesis is that every human being is doing the very best with what they can given the resources of their particular lives.
I even believe this to be true of men like Hitler and Napoleon. I believe it to be true of the men who whipped the black slaves in the cotton fields of early southern America. I also believe it to be true of the slave working in the field.
Dr. Maya Angelou said “If you would have known better – you would have done better”. True enough.
If we go on this precept, then we have to say that the world is in great need of something huge – something that will shake us to our roots. We are conducting “normal life” around a big illusion that is about to crumble. Something that is not real – meaning it will not last. Our current economics crises, coupled with the ecological catastrophes we are facing are just small potatoes compared to the extreme state of spiritual disconnectedness that we are currency living our lives with. Science and industrialization have disconnected us from the essential source that is our center. Religions have messed up our interpretation of that Source and we have lost the very basic ability to harness the energy and capacity of our essential beingness.
Our solutions lies in a return to basics – to nature. But we wouldn’t know what to do with “nature’ if it smacked us in the head. We need to be taught how to be ourselves – natural and connected to seasons and environment. Respectful and balanced in our living. However, the greatest irony of it all is that the cultures we have relegated and abused the “indigenous”, primal and pagan, are the ones that have the answers we need in order to survive the adjustments the planet is making. We are no longer taught by the old and wise.
In our pursuit for comfort, we chose to disconnect from one thing and connect to another. Free will being what is it, we are being directed towards a place of having to return to the original source that nourished us. Because of the manner of psychology evolved in man, we are only wiling to make drastic changes to our perceptions of what is necessary to live a fulfilled and happy life when something dramatic and terrible happens.
So the earth, as always, is accommodating what we require for our highest growth. We asked for it – in some way – and so we got it.
The shifts in politics are not haphazard, they are happening just as they were supposed to – the chaos will cause people to unite. The minority oppressors (crazy Muslim extremists lets say…) will eventually be eliminated by a lack of interest. The reality of how little power they hold will become obvious to everyone through the dissemination of true information. Information passed directly from person to person – like when Socrates went to the Hill and the whole town was involved in how a thing was decided. But now we call the hill the internet – and no one’s voice need be left unheard.
The internet is allowing us this primal capacity to return to each other. It is magnificent. But of course, like all the Excalibur’s of our history, it can be misused. It can be wielded to gain other things – the worst of these is that we spend time paying attention to things that distract us from our centers – from our essential beingness. Because we all know that the most important thing we can do is to really know ourselves.
So I guess that’s why I haven’t been writing. What I have to say is quite a mouthful and I think people are tired of hearing the darker side. Being like this however disconnects me from my creative center – which for me feels like being constipated in my soul. I have begun to take steps to feel connected to a creative feeling again – but it eludes me. Day after day. I become tired of searching for this dispassionate lover.
I have begun standing still – learning to really meditate. Every day. For an hour. No exceptions. This feels good. It will be my practice for life. Because there is something deeply wrong with the balance of my life if I cannot meditate for an hour every day.
But I won’t be hard on myself either. I know that I cant optimally stay still without pain for more than 45 minutes in a sitting position cross legged. I don’t think the point of meditation is to cause yourself pain – but I do think everyone on the planet should be doing it.
It’s not such a big adjustment in your life, but imagine the capacity when we harness ALL of our collective energy together at once? I believe something GRAND is possible if we can just – for one whole minute – let go of what we think is right and wrong. Just for one whole minute – have no opinion on anything.
I believe this would change the world.
When you feel the freedom of a time with no judgement – you will always want to return there. It is SO much nicer to allow people to just be themselves. You can make choices for yourself. This doesn’t mean you have to be a doormat. It just means you have to spend some time knowing yourself and, not just that but HONOURING the information you receive from your inquiries. You know, a good relationship isn’t two broken people leaning on each other – it’s two whole people dancing together. Much nicer. Unless you look at yourself, you will NOT find that perfect “partner’, that so many people seek – because you don’t even know what it is you have to offer. The same goes for your relationship with yourself. You have MANY parts. Stop trying to be so NICE – and PERFECT and honour everything about you! You can’t give to the world what you can’t give to yourself. That’s just reality.
“EVERYONE thinks they are doing the right thing. EVERYONE thinks they are doing their best.
The world and all its problems are very overwhelming. I wonder often what it is you have to do to live peacefully and happily in this chaotic mess. I recently received the answer from a 92 year old man – a soul mate? I would never have imagined such a kindred feeling with someone like this – but there it was.
His name is Gabe and he is my guitar player’s father in law. Shawn and his wife had just suffered through a scary bout with breast cancer and Gabe, Anne’s adopted father came for a visit from the Maritimes to see how Anne was doing.
He was introduced to me as “This is Gabe my adopted father. He’s 92”, said Anne smiling
And smartly all I could say was,
“Holy crap, how’d you get to be 92?!”
No word of a lie, Gabe looked 65 years old. He had a hefty diamond stud earring in his left ear, a full head of shocking white hair and blue twinkly eyes. With a beard he might have looked a little like Santa.
I was grateful Gabe laughed then at my seemingly impolite outburst. Once again my lack of filter was in full force. But I also learned allot about Gabe from that laugh. He liked the unrehearsed parts of life best, I could see. He was spontaneous and smiled allot.
I set up my equipment and came back to his table eagerly wanting to talk to him.
“Gabe, tell me how it is you lived so long?” I asked him quite seriously. The question of longevity having been on my mind since my own mother died less than a year earlier at only 65.
“I just didn’t die yet!”, he said laughing his big belly laugh.
“Seriously Gabe, I said looking him square in the eye, “What is it? I asked.
He leaned towards me conspiratorially as if he was going to tell me a big secret and said smiling
” Love everything as much as you can”, he said smiling. “You’re already doing that. I can see it”. He smiled warmly. So much familiar love and joy in his eyes. It was so familiar and amazing.
I got up and hugged him. The band was calling me to the stage for the first set or I would have stayed and talked to Gabe all night.
In between sets I found him outside as he was leaving to get some rest – which he said was important to longevity too – I smiled.
I hugged him and said frankly,
“I feel like I’ve known you a long time Gabe,” I was sad he was leaving.
“But we have darlin’ “, he said smiling. “We’ll do it again soon”.
I thought then about how amazing it must be to wake up in the morning – when you are 92. Each day borrowed time.
I’d like to say I have the same kind of reverence for life as Gabe does, but I know I still take waking up each day for granted.
I was talking with a friend the other day about all the world situations how hundreds of thousands of people each day have to figure out how to pack up the basics of their lives, walk many miles in treacherous hot desert sand only to find themselves at a new country’s border – mostly unwelcome. The world’s resources are running out, including livable space.
We were making a sandwich in the kitchen and starting saying all of the things we have that other people don’t have. Like the seemingly simple ability to make lunch itself! Or go to bed without bombs going off outside our house. Or just having a house – or taking a shower with hot water, being able to call my kids who are safe, going to school or work. The ability to go to a store and buy food. To say whatever I want. To be able to show my face in public.
I wish it wasn’t the hardship of others that had the ability to bring me great gratitude for the most simple of things in my life, but that is the way it is.
That’s the end of my indulgent birthday rant. Wishing you a peaceful day!