I have been very quiet on writing lately for an ironic reason – it seems that the more I learn – the less I have to say. The more I understand – the less I know. Wisdom teaches me that we are all on a path towards a new understanding of ourselves and the world, but that this path can’t be brought to us or taught to us, that it can only be experienced personally. In other words, anything I would say could only be a shadow of what you can come to understand about yourself using your own experience.
Years ago, during a particularly difficult time in my life I had an strange and transcending experience which at the time felt very unique and made me feel a little crazy. I immediately took it upon myself to began to write a book about this experience. The reason was that what had happened to me had completely changed the way I saw and perceived my life. The way I made decisions, the way I used my intuition and the underlying reasons behind everything I did changed. I felt incredibly lonely at times, so I would write a book that would help others who “shifted” in this way to know that they weren’t alone. That they hadn’t lost their minds.
The experience created in me a feeling of intimate connection to everyone and everything – The All – it felt like JOY. It gave me a deep understanding that we are all the same thing. It told me that time itself is a precarious thing and that the very fundamental and very real reason we are all here is to discover our inner “thing”, our talent -our strength. What it is we have been given by the Source that created us that can be of benefit to this symbiotic place in which we reside. Is it some form of creawtive expression? The ability to heal? The desire to fix things that are broken? To create new things from old ones? To Feed people? What is your bliss?
I discovered my own spaces of joy through many desperate fumbling acts and moments of fearless jumping off. Music and animals, nature and children are the things I deeply connect to and that I feel completely ALIVE with. These are what feed me and in turn feed the people I am with. When I play music, or draw or paint or teach a little kid about horses or listen to a teenager – I feel in a space of timelessness. I am not thinking about yesterday’s problem or tomorrow’s fears…I am in a current state of being. Being present for people is the most important thing we can do.
Many of us talk about finding the purpose of our lives, and yet we go on every day either to doing jobs or activities we hate or not finding the gratitude in what we have. We mistakenly believe we are stuck in our circumstances when we all have a deep need to discover who we are and why we are here. The answer is no more complicated than doing what you love and using your bliss to connect to others and create something good in the world. It is that simple. But the way you get there and to really understand this in your heart is different for each person.
My “new eyes” see that the world is in quick deterioration and that the best thing we can do is to become aware that understanding ourselves as individuals deeply from within is paramount for ourselves, one other and the planet. We have to stop focusing on trying to fulfill our personal human desires – and start understanding our very real needs. Our need for fulfillment and joy, for peace and community. Face it, no matter what we think or have been told about other cultures and all of the insanity happening in the world today, at the end of the day every single human being, from the old lady in New York City to the ten year old boy in Africa – wants the exact same thing; they want to be happy, they want to feel secure, they want food, shelter clothing, love and companionship. That’s it. And we know that we HAVE the resources for this to be for each person on the planet. So why aren’t we doing it? We live in illusion. We want “proof”. But what is proof? We have no time to “scientifically analyze” all of these things. The level we need for understanding is BEYOND the level of our minds. The mind is nothing. Just a representation of what our ego wants to believe about the world.
We need to understand this and to just jump in two feet, faith first, and make different choices, on an individual level which will effectively contribute to helping us balance our needs with the needs of the planet. In other words, the kinder and more compassionate and present you are with yourself – the more you will be able to do this with everyone else.
We ARE each other. I love the interpretation of the Hindu religion which says that the physical self is held together by sound waves – specifically the sound “Om” – which is the “sound of the Universe”. There are many old beliefs, even ones that predate the bible, that support theories that science is only today beginning to observe, such as quantum particles existing beyond measures of time, and Einstein’s String Theory which attempts to proves that we exist on different physical planes all at the same time. There are very ancient beliefs in Mayan, Egyptian, Celtic and other ancient cultures that had long ago defined these beliefs. We are at a time and place now that is beyond science, and is calling for us to access places within our selves which are beyond that mundane analysis of science, and which demand that we connect to heart and spirit and source and EACH OTHER, most importantly.
We need a change of attitude! We have seen our powers and capacity for destruction, but really I can’t wait to see what that looks like when we turn our powers for GOOD. It will be an awesome experience to being all the good we have within each person to the ultimate level of expression.
I am one of those people who believes this is possible. I believe that it is possible for the world to rise above itself and find its higher purpose – its greater mind.
This is the last thing I will say 🙂 – There is a stark difference between desire and need. desire is driven by something we think we are lacking – something that is not fundamentally important to who we are as a person, but is instead detracting from ourselves. Needs are exactly the opposite – needs are those things that support you being the highest version of yourself. Being aware of our needs and fulfilling them will ultimately and necessarily lead to finding and using that highest creative self we are given.
I don’t think there is a need for a ANOTHER book on this subject. There are plenty out there I have discovered. Everyone will find what they are looking for differently. And if what I am writing sounds like lunacy to you, then maybe it’s not for you right now 🙂 But, I believe there is a need for dialogue and opening community for this kind of exchange. It certainly can’t hurt anything worse than it already is.