My Potty Mouth

The next topic we will be looking at in the upcoming retreat at our farm is the fifth chakra – the throat or Vishuddha.  As usual, whenever we are coming up to a topic, issues in my life abound which keep this area active and challenging!  The throat chakra is all about personal expression. How you set your boundaries and limitations and how you express your needs and desires and how well you represent yourself in your words. Miguel Ruiz in the 4 agreements indicates that “being impeccable with your word” is paramount to balanced happy living.  Violent awords or the use of words which are there only to provide impression an dshock, like swearing, is not a healthy thing for this chakra. Miguel was right. when I swear allot in a day, my energy is lower, I feel more negative. I am discovering how important the words I use about myself and life in general are.

About the chakra:

The Vishuddha is associated with higher discrimination, with creativity and self-expression. When Vishuddha is closed, we undergo decay and death – resentment, anger etc…. When it is open, negative experiences are transformed into wisdom and learning. The success and failure in one’s life depends upon the state of this chakra (polluted/clean). Guilty feeling is the most prominent reason for this chakra to block the Kundalini Energy moving upwards. It is associated with the element Akasha, or Æther, and the sense of hearing, as well as the action of speaking.

This trip is not so easy!

This is one of those cases where I read something, and it makes perfect sense in my head…but my activities and behaviours don’t exactly represent what my head is thinking.  I swear like a trucker, and if you make me angry, I lash out like a serpent.  I re-act rather than act consciously. Focusing and simply being aware of this behavior has made me want to change things up and do better!

Every day I am faced with the challenge of my potty-mouth.  I even shock myself – now that I am paying attention.

Did you know that the F word is so flexible that it can be used probably more than any other word in the English language!

  • F*** can be used as a verb both transitive (he f***’d her) and    intransitive (she was f***’d by him).
  • a active verb (who really gives a f***?),
  • a passive verb (I really don’t give a f***),
  • an adverb (He is f***ing amazing with horses) and
  • a noun (dumb f***).
  • an adjective (this is f***ing beautiful).

Hmm…

If there is a way to swear I have found it.  But, it no longer represents me! It dumbs me down.  I use it mostly for shock value…but maybe my need for shock is gone?  It probably left around the same time as my desire for drama.

This chakra is very interesting to me.

My livelihood is earned as a singer.  There are some that would say I talk allot. 🙂 It is apparent that this chakra is of predominant interest for me. When the chakra is blocked, that means, when there are thoughts and issues that prevent us from expressing ourselves honestly (which his th ecase for most people), the energy becomes halted in this space. We can experience throat issues – even cancers if the energy stays there stale and detrimental for too long. Awasreness is the key to freeing bound energy.

Even if you don’t understand chakras, or don’t even believe they exist, there can be nothing but positive that comes from a desire to be aware of how we use our words and express our needs.

In younger developmental years, I was not exactly the most diplomatic of people.  it was part of my “self image” that I have many opinions and I made SURE everyone know what those opinions were.  But, as I mature and become more and more aware of everything around me. I find my opinions dropping to the wayside like unnecessary baggage.  I don’t need to be right anymore

Then there is the case of an underused throat chakra. For many years I didn’t sing. This caused great illness inside of me.  I think that once you disciover your creative talent (everyone has one…yes even you!) and you choose not to use it for whatever reason, the area of your body which houses the energy for that talent become blocked and illness results.

For many people, one of the main reasons this area of the body becomes blocked is because we don’t know how to express what we need when we need it. We allow things to build up until BLAM it all comes out sidesways in a liturgy of unhappiness.  Ruiz says we like to “share our poison” with others. When we have sadness or confusion or frustration, we explode outwards and try to dump all that thorat poison onto the nearest victim, usually our closest friends and family.

Many of us also weren’t exactly given the greatest role models for expression of self.  Then again, you can’t teach what you don’t know. My parents came from a time when women contained their needs and were in a  state of self sacrifice for their families – the definition of a “good mother”.  I would have loved my first mother to still be alive and see this new understanding that we are adopting that if we don’t have our own selves filled and taken care ofm, we certainly can’t take proper care of our families.  The old “fill your own cup” first – take the oxygen masks for yourself before putting it on your child. Yes…this is the right idea.

When I started to “Self center” myself, my family did not react very well.  It ws difficult for them to adapt to someone who was always leeching energy from them, to someone who was trying to find it within themselves.  Over time, we have communicated better and they have gained an understanding and appreciation for the work it takes to “be ok with yourself”.  I am a better example – especially for my girls today, who it seems have not in any way apopted this “subservient” silent women’s role that has plagued our cultures.  No, they have no problem expressing themselves at all…ever. 🙂

Guilt is a plaguing force. It is the most useless of all emotions. The most counterproductive.  It contains only false thoughts about you and about the world you live in.  It tells you are not enough. Makes you relive and relive the past – which by the way, can’t be changed.  Accepting the past, taking responsibility for your actions today and now, and making amends where you need to are the actions that heal guilt. In order to achieve this, you have to get very honest with yourself – and concurrently loose all judgment of you and your past actions.  All actions in the past are meant to bring you to where you are today.  Stand still – look at where you are. Whatever it is in the past that plagues you – was meant to help you become YOU! Guilt makes you look back over your should and get a sore neck…ways looking backwards, never forwards.

After my first marriage fell apart, mostly because of me, it took me years and years to understand this truly in my heart. It’s a tough thing to overcome!  But if you do – you will find yourself at a new level and potential for happiness.  Focusing on the throat and expressing what you need with conscious intention, is the healer.

If the devil had a voice, and if I believed in the devil, I would say it would sound like guilt.

So…f*** guilt.

And have a great day.

~Namaste~

🙂

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