Times of Change
How do you know when it’s time to make a change in your life? How do you know if it’s the right change in the right direction? What are some of the drastic changes you have had to make in your life? What was the motivation behind the changes? How are the changes you make different as you get older? Are you aware of the truth behind the motivation for the choices you make?
It’s time to make a change in your life when what you are doing is not longer working for you. What does “working for you mean”? This is a very individual thing. I would however say that, to really understand personal needs, Maslow’s Hierarchy can be of great help:
In this pyramid Maslow ascribes certain labels to the stages of human personal development – a list of ascending needs, beginning with the basics of food and shelter, all the way up five stages to “self-actualization”, the place you get to when you begin to look for the deep inner meaning in life – when your exterior/ physical needs feel fully secured.
Let me premise by saying, humans generally don’t like change. whether we bring it on ourselves or it comes round the bend and takes us by surprise, we spend the majority of our time resisting the effects of change. We live in denial. Even though the one thing we are absolutely guaranteed each day is that things will change; people will change situations, your body, the planet, your relationships – we persist in resisting. We seem often overwhelmed an unprepared for it, as though it just snuck in through the back door and smacked us on the head.
I am not suggesting that you live your life in a diligently prepared manner – where I live we call that paranoia. But you can come to the knowledge and understanding that not only will change happen, but you are able to both withstand it, survive it, become even greater and grander BECAUSE of it, and flow with whatever it requires of us. We have within us, as of yet untapped inner resources which can propel us to greater and greater awareness as to how handle the inevitable shifts in our lives. I want to tell you now that there is nothing you need to learn, and nothing I can teach you about this. You already know this inside. I have nothing new anyways, to enable you to handle change and manifest whatever you want in your life. You have been given everything you need already. Your job in life is to figure out how to listen. Pay attention to your inner voices that manifest the reality you live right now.
I always thought the concept of manifesting was really bogus. How can someone manifest anything in their life – wouldn’t everyone be driving around in sports cars, living in gigantic houses if we could all do that? Wouldn’t poverty be eliminated and war abolished in favour of a perfect planet? No, for me, manifesting was for the rich and famous, who could manifest their dollars into empty dreams come true. They weren’t for ordinary people like me who were trying to find some deep inner meaning and cohesion in my life.
But then I discovered what manifesting truly means – it means becoming starkly aware of your inner drive – the thing that moves you forward that brings you energy, that gives you inspiration and that lights up your world. It is the thing that makes you lose your sense of time when you are deeply embroiled in it, and it is the idea that motivates the next ten.
Manifesting occurs when the intention I hold inside of my own mind and heart is deeply aligned with the best interest of the universe. In other words, if you are following your “destiny” you will discover a path of least resistance, which brings you, one step at a time, to the path in which you can be of highest service and purpose in your life. Now, this doesn’t mean that your path, if it is in the best interest of your life and all those around you, is necessarily the easy one, nor is it always the least painful one. Our paths in life are scattered with challenges and bridges that make us stronger and more capable for the next hurdle to overcome. It’s like we are building up a psychic muscle with each new sorrow and challenge. The sooner we understand the benefit in the things we believe cause us trouble pain or strife, the more readily able we will be to move along our path.
A word on destiny: we do not have one destiny. I believe “there are many roads to Rome”, and that ultimately, the place where we find our highest calling and we are able to be of service in some way to our lives and the lives of others, is as individual as each person. How you get there and how it feels for you will entirely depend on what you are trying to learn about yourself.
My experiences in motherhood helped me better understand this process. I had three biological children and four step children, who were all raised together as one family. When my birth children were babies, I remember thinking at times, when they were sick or I suffered from lack of sleep, that I didn’t know how I would handle it getting any more difficult. I was pushing myself past limits of patience, worry and personal neglect that I had never experienced. And yet, as they grew older and stronger, we faced more and more challenges together as a family – even more difficult than the sleepless night, and I survived. Not only did I survive, but by the time they became teenagers, I remembered fondly the sleepless nights of infanthood – as I relived sleepless nights, but now for a different reason. Over the years, I realized that there were many times when I was so overwhelmed by the love and desire I had to give them the best life, that I learned to turn things that felt out of my control over to a greater power – the same power that guides our intuitive thoughts to the creative places within our hearts that put us on the road to purpose.
It’s the same voice that shows you how beautiful the world is. The same voice that comforts you when things seems completely out of control. Over time, you lose this need for control and even understanding. You adopt an “it is what it is” attitude– and let things unwind with less and less interference. The more you practice this the more you see that in some way, you will always be guided and cared for in your choices. You will become more of an observer of your life, than a director or captain. You will deveklop faith that in walking across the river, the next stone will appear upon your path.
Your changes and choices will come because the universe moves forward, with or without us. If we do not make a conscious choice towards change, I assure you the universe ill remove what is standing in the way of your spiritual progress, and will remove it for you.
Choices made with the motivation of fear or avoidance, moving away from something (fear of confrontation ) have little energy behind them. Choices made with creation and newness in mind; carry a greater energy for sustaining themselves. Being honest with yourself about why you are making the choices you are making, is paramount to personal happiness. If not, its like running through a forest with a blindfold on, and I guratee you will hit many trees. Understanding your personal truth, with no judgement (put the gavel dowbn…it is what it is!) is the most empowering action you can take. It is the mechanism that removes the blindfold, allows you to stand still and see all of the trees in the forest.
Surprise! This is the kind of change no one really appreciates. It’s the change you didn’t ask for, but fell upon you. Death, divorce, getting fired, losing your house – these are chaos change. The shift in your reality, the sudden death of something you knew somewhere was no longer serving purpose, but you didn’t know how not to have it in your life. Then, when it was no longer there…you found you had resources within yourself that you would not have otherwise become acquainted with. Every day can bring new surprises. Being aware of your ability to handle whatever comes your way – can make for stronger more self assured decision making. Dance like no one is looking!
Sometimes it’s a change you are looking at; maybe a change of relationship, job, friends, hobby. These are conscious decisions. You have time to process the potential moves you will make, the hazards and even the preparation for making changes. The rule of following the energy that gives and avoiding the energies that take is good advice. Life can entirely change in such a positive way when we consciously go to what gives us energy and avoid what takes it.
I sometimes work with women who have suffered from sexual abuse in their lives. In a recent meeting of minds, we were discussing how we broke out of these entrapments. Each one of us, although the stories differed greatly, had a similar chapter ending on that porti8no of our lives. There was a point where a decision was made, not by our physical minds, which had spent so much time preventing us from standing up for ourselves in the first place. The decision came from an interior mind – an inner knowing – as to just how, when and where to handle and end the abuse occurring to us. It was a soul-choice over which no human mind would have any power.
When the soul decides to act upon something that is vital for its continued progress, it simply will. This came as a great relief to us. We suddenly saw that we had a lot less to worry about then we thought. We saw how much we were powerless over and then even more brilliantly, we saw EXACTLY where our power DID come from. The REAL power: the extraordinary power of change and choice that resides within you.
The key to successful change within anyone’s life, is developing a knowledge of what that “soul voice” sounds like, and learning to trust your instinct, your gut, the inside voice that is the true calling of your soul.
It won’t be easy. Some days you will question your direction, not to mention your sanity. But, in the end, I guarantee you that following that ‘still small voice” to the place where you are your greatest most grandest version of yourself…will never disappoint your sense of adventure and fulfillment.