If this were my last day on earthFull_Moon_____Midnight_Forest_by_Gothrix
I would love you for all its worth
I would hold you and look into your eyes
and  breath in and out
making love with our sighs.
If this were our last day on earth
I would take my children for a ride
and play in the snow outside.
Even though they are older now
and see no purpose in such things
if this were our last day
I bet we would all play like kids.
If this were my last day on earth
I would be kind to all I see,
I would find a reason to climb a tree.
I would dance and cry and sing and laugh,
if this is were the end of days.
I would forgive everyone who got in my way.
But most of all..
i would spend it with you,
not saying a word
holding hands
under a tree
by the water
Watching the world fall at our feet.
all that life should be.
And if our days are not numbered
and I don’t find that we are standing at the end
I will still do all of these things
just because
I love you my friend.

THOUGHTS ON NEWTOWN and other places.

The Newtown tragedy was awful. I can;t imagine what it is like to be a parent and experience losing a child.  I am shocked into silence.  We are supposed to be civilized.  This should not have happened.

Now for what I want to say…

Every day thousand of children die from poverty, neglect, and violence in war torn countries.

Every day historical monuments and buildings are destroyed in the middle eastern war efforts.

If it happens to someone in the West, we are shocked. We experience fear and outrage.  We don’t even hear about the kids stabbed in China on the same day…well barely.

Why is it that we don’t see each other as the same people?  Each child’s death is worthy of outrage!  Each human life taken for a “cause” is horrendous.  War is simply legalized murder.  And a life is not less valuable because it is not American.

Maybe because America has created its image to be “The Land of the free” – that it is so shocked when Karma comes knocking on the most innocent of doors?  How sad.

Listen – the solution isn’t in legislating away guns. Someone who wants to kill…will find a way. But guns are an obvious issue…

The USA has more guns per capita than anywhere else in the world.   According to 2011 statistics there are 88.8 guns per 100 people in the USA,  Canada 30.8, Britain 6.2.  Murder by gunshot –   The United states had nearly 10,000 murders  in 2011, in Canada, 144 and 14 in Britain. Are we seeing a connection here?

Why is it that people in the USA seem to feel more threatened than the rest of the world? So much so that they seem to have been in an ETERNAL race to be the most armed nation on the planet. elephants-family-love

The solution for situations like Newtown does not lie with more stringent gun controls.  If that boy would have had access only to two old crappy guns – he would have used those.  There was no stopping this insanity.

But I will say that the solution to the “problem” is global, not just focusing on one country, who is so socioegocentric as to believe they are immutable to these kinds of violent attacks.?  You reap what you sow my friends.

We don’t need new gun laws, and neither does the United State. It won’t make one bit of difference.

What is needed (globally) is a mentality change as to HOW we see each other.  If you understood that you are not separate, and are intricately connected to each other through a powerful source which is your own living life force – maybe we would treat each other and ourselves even more kindly.

Take responsibility for your community – Be involved in your family.

The changes start not at the level of government but at the level of YOUR HOME – then community – then outwards flow into the world.

We can choose.








near-death-experience-1December 12 was the last time any of us will see a tri-synchronous date again.  Someone told me it won’t happen again for another 91 years or something, so it’s safe to assume you and I are on our last triple number date.There are all sorts of cool dates coming up – specifically 12-21-12…on friday. The End of the World as we know it. I have read and learned so much about this date, from historians and scientists, astronomers and astrologists, not I am really curious as to what everyone else thinks…the regular people going through regular daily life.

After all my studying, I have no really solid conclusion other than something is happening – I’m just not sure what.  There is an energetic shift a global consciousness taking place, that is certain. According to “Golden Age” theorists,  the energy seems to be tied in to the moving of the stars and the cycles of constellations – specifically The Pleiades – Seven Sisters.  Apparently they only align like they will every 26,000 years on the 21st of December.

Some people I know are calling this shift the movement into “The Golden Age” – or the age of spiritual enlightenment which will present itself as a global consciousness awakening.  We will (and seem to be already) become starkly aware of our natural connection to one another and to nature. This will cause us to think differently, have different priorities in our decisions and treat each other with more respect.  Others of course believe we are entering the “end times” – the potential second (or first depending on which chair you sit in) coming of the Messiah – God’s representative here on earth.  I have heard others say that the collective joining of our minds IS the Messiah…represented through us. I have also heard all of the Alien conspiracy theories – that we are about to be eaten by legions of alien who have been growing us like  a pig farm. I have heard that aliens have been harvesting our genetic material to create an army of super-human alien hybrids.  I have heard that “otherworldly beings” have returned and communicate to us in the form of a type of mathematical symbolic language which is a type of warning and directive for the future.  I mean – it all sounded crazy to me at first.

I have to admit that I never really thought about any date before this one.  I am aware of this one though.   I feel changes happening.  There is some weird  portal opening up which is causing those of us who are energetically sensitive in the first place to become like magnets for contact from energetic beings. In the past week I have had numerous “otherworldly” interferences – like my friends brother who, on the 35th anniversary of his suicide contacted his sister through me.  Let me assure you I don’t usually have things like this happen to me, but this “contact” was so obvious – like a neon sign pointing “pay attention to THIS!”

I have a very eclectic group of friends, amongst whom are some of my very dearest are a group of folks I have come to recently know and love who are ceremonial drummers. They practice shamanism with drumming, and I have been graced to learn and be taught by some of the very best.  I love shamanic drumming. We have such a strong energy that when you practice drumming with intention, you find that you are elevated both spiritually and physically.  Portals of understanding open up like nothing ever before. But, it all seems very òtherworldly`, but the experience is genuine and profoundly healing.   There are some who have been drumming for all 21 days prior to the 21st of December to try to create an energetic container in which to hold the intention of healing for the planet.

What will yu be doing on the 21st?

The conclusion you will come to about the date is tied directly into where in the world you were socialized and what religion you adhere to.  But, no matter which religion or culture, every single place in the world is recognizing that there is a 1) significance to the date 12-21-12 and 2) a change is imminent. What kind of change, if any, do you foresee for us?

I’d really like to know what you believe.  And please remember you can tell me ANYTHING – all our thoughts and the way we connect is so different and so open, thoughts and idea you have now may seem almost insane to you, but please give them some of your consciousness.

In this time of the shift, also please be aware to be careful for what you pray!  If you ask YOU WILL recieve…so think things out a little.  Try and be of service to others as much as possible. Think about what you can be doing for someone else every single day. and don’t forget to fill your own cup – meditate, pray and open your intention and mind to the possibilities of miraculous transformation.

And don’t forget that you are a SPIRITUAL being on a HUMAN journey – not the other way around.  Prioritize your spiritual self at this time, and you have the opportunity to gain a new strength that you have not before experienced.

Be careful about your words right now – try to speak kindly and don’t complain.

Connect yourself to others and on the 21st hold us all in your thoughts and prayers.

Great Leap…here we come!



Every day I get these emails called 11:11 prompts.  They are supposed to be channeled messages from a man in Australia named George Barnard. I had never heard of George until a few years ago, when someone I had met said I may be interested in what he had to say.  The reason for my interest was because throughout my life I had always seen and noticed when the time was 11:11. over time I had developed my own superstition around this time, feeling that it was my angels or guides that were giving me a heads up that i was on the right track, or I was being watched over and cared for.  I didn’t know, until George Barnard that there are many thousands of people who hold this same belief and seem to be prompted to remember their guides almost daily. Some say that the people who are the observers of the prompts are earth’s “Midwayers”, people who are meant to help wake up the earth spiritually. These are people who have had a mystical experience or some form of transcendence which has allowed them to understand their connected nature to Source.  Like carriers of light in a dark room,  Midwayers  are intuitive people and work with guidance to take their next step.

The road to opening my mind to being able to believe in what I could not see, hear, feel or touch was a long arduous process.  I have probably spent the better part of my life being fascinated with all things otherworldly and ghostly. My favourite Christmas story as a child was Scrooge from my father’s old “Book of Knowledge” – 1921”. In it there was a lithographic print,  old fashioned and dusty looking, of Fezziwig and his wife, in ghostly form, dancing eerily around their workshop at the Christmas party they threw when Scrooge was a young man. The picture scared the hell out of me and I loved being scared.

I read voraciously and my understanding of spirits grew over time until I lost the fear factor in lieu of greater and greater curiosity. At some point my ghostly studies became enmeshed with my spiritual beliefs. Somehow, they came together as the mysteries of each were unveiled for me. Not that I am in any way completely clear on everything, but I have my moments.

Throughout my 30 years of studying ghosts and superstition, I went through all of the possibilities. I studied magic, Christianity, Satanism, Voodoo, Hoodoo (the American (New Orleans) version of voodoo), Judaism, Shamanism, Wicca, Buddhism, Yoga, Hinduism, Sufism, and Meditation.  I never claimed any one religion, but instead found myself with a personal understanding that more combined elements from each – resulting in a Sufist understanding of the world.

So, you can see that put in order the progression for curious mind seems pretty natural. I went from not really believing in anything but wanting to, to believing in a SUPER-UNIVERSAL Divine Mind that is both sentient and loving and is the place we all emanate from. THIS to me makes sense. It’s the kind of “concept” that feels right inside of me. I can connect to it; I can try and work with it. It is a functional concept of God that has brought me to living my life in a very different way than I used to. But, over time I saw that God wasn’t limited to what I know and understand. God could exist all over, at every time in every place.

And so, as the Universe will, I was asked to stretch my mind even further…

I had to go from Super-Universal Divine Sentient Loving Mind – the ALL that is EVERYTHING – To believing that this Spirit has sent us other aspects of itself to guide us with. Beings from “other places” that are able to travel back in time to convey messages of hope and spiritual direction at a changing time in our planetary history.

I’ll tell you that, as with every other stage of my learning, the skeptic in me demands some form of five sensory proof. Part of me thinks “Oh, just have faith” and then another part of me says “Yeah but show me”

But show me becomes a type of prayer. The Universe wants to acknowledge our request, because the only thing it desires is unequivocal union with us, and so It shows us – over and over again. We are shown direction, we are given inspiration, we are crossed with coincidences and synchronicities. And yet, we continue to look for what we think we are supposed to see, and so we fail to see what is right in front of us.

Listen: Every day that we get up and take a breath and put our feet on the floor and begin making choices an decisions, is a MIRACLE.  That fact that we even exist is a miracle. Then, we run around, not even understanding the level of power we have as individuals- we impact the world around us, with every thought and intention from start to finish. There is no getting around the fact that we are all so intricately connected through a web of such fine fabrication, that we could not even begin to understand the most basics of the impacts the ripples of our decisions make.

Not to mention the fact that our learning has increased by ten times what it was when you and I were young. The internet and the openness in human communication is causing a blowing up of the mind, such as we have never before seen in history.

It is becoming clear that if we on this planet believe we are the only forms of life in the Universe, we are completely in the dark. It is not possible to be a logical and thinking person without concluding somehow that there must be life elsewhere. How far of a stretch then is it for us to believe that this other kind of  life has abilities we don’t have yet? And that they have transcended the limitations of time and space, such as a we have been seeking to do since we first walked on earth. (I wonder if people acted as obtusely about Copernicus’s discovery that the earth wasn’t the center of the universe as we are about finding out that we aren’t the only ones in the universe.  I can see how both things would cause great turmoil and confusion in society. )

I can be scientific about this after all.  As crazy as “aliens from the future are speaking to us through mathematical prompts like 11:11” sounds, can you disprove it?  Are we able to clearly DISPROVE the POSSIBILITY of alien life? Of course not.  So, if you can’t disprove something – then must it not exist?

Our own science has proven repeatedly that the energetic world is far more complicated and intricate then they can even begin to understand.  Quantum physics has shown us that our mere observation of a quantum packet impacts the way it moves.  Time is a significant consideration too. It is no coincidence I think that if “aliens” were trying to reach us they would use how we observe time to get our attention, like using 11:11. Is it coincidence that computer language is 101010011110001 , ones and zeros?  I don’t think so.  Time is after all only of this place.  Science has shown that the Universe bends and shifts and is constantly expanding outwards, changing the nature of time in its very fabric, since Time exists only relative to space.

Just keep an open mind – remember – the miracle is not in the act, but in the observer.

For more information on George Barnard please visit


woman-holding-fire-sculptureDecember 21 is quickly approaching and even the greatest “non-believers” are talking about what the possible implications of the date are. There is a plethora of movies and books emerging in the past few years covering every subject: the Apocalypse, Revelations, awakening, environmental shifting and religious reformation. It has become mainstream quickly and this is the good news. Now more than ever there is a ton of information available to anyone who wants to keep and maintain a connection to source. This is the reality of this next level of human evolution where the veil of what we thought we were is being lifted and we are being shown what we truly are.

Today I was coming out of a little funk I have been in feeling directionless and sort of without purpose which, for someone who has spent 20 years raising children and having a REALLY busy life can be a bit distressing. It seems like I am being handed very little for my plate right now, and when you become as used to juggling chaos as I have become, then you don’t quite know what to do with your hands – or your mind – when they are no longer required to be in constant service.

So, I started to run down what I do in my “purposeless” life:

I have a farm and I work hard with my horses and various tasks around. For normal people, this would seem like enough. But no. I also have a mostly full time musical career, so I juggle late nights, rehearsals and musicians temperaments. I am the band manager and I handle all our graphic work, PR and most of our gig booking. I have three bands right now in three different genres of music. My repertoire exceeds 500 songs. I smoke weed to stay sane.

On weekends I give riding lessons.

I have two very needy dogs that I spend a lot of time training and managing, on top of 9 horses (well…including the donkey) 2 goats, I have no clue how many cats anymore since we have adopted the neighbourhood.

On top of it, my husband’s job has really cut back and our income in is probably 1/3 of what it was when we began farming and I had the cute little “city” farm with the arena, that fell down and caused catastrophe. So we are suffering financially in a crazy way.

Christmas is coming up and I don’t know if I will have anything to buy my kids present.

My mother has brain cancer and all of my sisters and brothers who are much older than I am are aging and turning the corner fast. I will be the one left here. There are those things that must be managed.

Managing the smaller budget, making food and trying to make the house look not-so-teenager infested is my daily routine.

But, I feel purposeless? I feel inactive? I feel worthless? That’s ridiculous.

Some days are admittedly quiet. I said to my husband just this morning that I felt that it wasn’t that I had been depressed over the last little while; it almost felt like there was a quiet time…a pause…in activity. In life – something was going on inside of me, that my outside life looked quiet, but my inside life was very busy.

My intuitions lately have been through the roof. But my level of interaction with the world in the past few weeks has gone to an all time low. The synchronicities are amazing to me still. Yesterday I had lunch with a friend who is in the same space exactly and spoke of her experiences in such a relatable way, a small space of light was able to open up and I didn’t feel alone in my aloneness. Today I listen to a radio station online which I hadn’t listened to in nearly 9 years and the level of direct communication I felt from God on just the thing that was disturbing my heart was almost eerie. I even did something I never ever do; I called in to speak to the radio host. He was helping people understand how to manage emotions and I thought – what can I lose?

But then I thought I would rather talk about how to manage knowing yourself as a spiritual being in the context of real life – like not having enough money for Christmas. As I sat waiting on the phone nervously (I never ever call radio shows – I don’t even listen to them much), I sat nervously waiting and listening to him answer caller after caller who were calling in with the same complaints as I had. I always figured that if I got a “regular job” like I had in the old days, as a receptionist or in sales or something that requires me to wear pumps and make-up to work (God…the thought makes me feel sick in my stomach), then things would be better because I would be curing the issue of financial difficulties. But every time I open the newspaper or think about sending my CD to a temp agency, I am immobilized with dread. It just feels like going back into that world is going backwards and not forwards, and I really think we are all meant to go forwards. So, I wanted to ask him how exactly does one manage knowing that this body and all the material things around me are completely temporary and valueless in the spiritual world, which is where we all emanate from, but we need those things in human life to exist. In fact, if I didn’t have these “basic things”, then I wouldn’t have the time for this kind of thinking at all. Where is the balance? And even more, how can I “preach” self-worth and creativity to everyone if I can’t follow that myself? It makes me feel like a hypocrite. My words mean nothing until I back them with some sort of action plan.

As I listened I received all of the answers I needed. First off an action plan: Ironically, my action plan is to have no action plan at all, but instead to follow my guidance – for once. Take the time to notice where I am being pointed, and why, because obviously it doesn’t sit well with me to go “backwards”, so I must be willing to move forwards.

And willing I am!

The radio show host said some really interesting synchronous things. Funny enough, I never did get to speak with him, but I didn’t need to by the time it finished.

He said exactly what I said to my husband this morning. Some quotes:

Many of us are being taken offline at this point – continental planes we are being asked not to function completely in the old way.

Not meant to be functioning in the old way



I know it sounds funny to say it like that – but it is exactly how it feels. Restored to factory settings.

It is happening too many of us. This quiet shifting within ourselves. Some space that is opening up and making us feel more receptive to things we may not have ever considered in our lives. Many minds are opening to the similarities and the walls of difference are being broken down each day. The internet and our ability to speak to each other openly is a big and important part of the opening of our conscious minds.

No one governs the internet…and no one can control what it is we can and cannot learn about ourselves and each other anymore. The walls have come tumbling down…and we are caught up in the tide of the emergence of our true selves.

We have been sold a real bill of good on who we are by our historical “powers-that-be”. Religions, political structures and false cultural beliefs have all tried to tell you that you are someone you are NOT.

* You are not POWERLESS

* You are not A VICTIM

* You are not a Child of your culture – you are a child of God/Allah/Y-hew/etc…Moral-Code-Modern-Mystic_Humanity-Healing

*You are a divine representation of God/Allah/Y-Weh etc… Here on earth

*There has only ever been one like you – EVER

*There will NEVER be another one like you

*You were given special powers

*Dark forces (however you define those) have veiled your knowledge of yourself. You are a spiritual being living a divine human experience

*God does not get angry – God does not JUDGE YOU (that would be like judging Him/her? It Self!)

* God just wants to help.

I may live far from you…but we are THE SAME. We are made from the same materials. When the Big Bang or whatever happened, all the molecules that create you and me were made. Since then they have been formed and reformed again and again. The thing that connects us all is SOUND – sound is the energy of the universe. That’s why music is so important. What you do and what you think impacts me. How you make decisions in your life helps to decide the fate of the world. Even the smallest most heartfelt song is heard by all of creation.

And everyone has a song! I don’t mean you are all musicians – but everyone was given a deep creative desire – a talent. This may come out in your work, as an artist, or in the way you care for your friends and family – but rest assured you have a creative gift and if you are not using it regularly – well you know what they say – what you don’t use starts to shrink.  You can never lose the talent God gave you – but you can ignore it. Which is what most of have done.

We all have felt small and insignificant. We feel like what we do is not important because…well hey…look at the huge universe hanging over our heads! We are so small – but we are not insignificant. We are POWERFUL beyond understanding! Everything we THINK has a pervasive, enormous and long-lasting effect on the Universe…not just our microscopic lives. If you meditate every day for 20 minutes – you CAN help heal the world. Imagine that! Just by quieting your mind and energy, if each person meditated each day, the effects on the energy of the planet would be immediate!

Your first thought may be to go to all the “uncreative” things you have thoughts today. Negative thoughts or things you have done which may not have been in your best interest. But really, think about all the GOOD you do in a day. Holding the door open at the grocery store for an old lady goes allot further than you think in the grander scheme of things.SpiritofFlight

But in whose best interest is it for you to know exactly how powerful you are? Not in the interest of organized religion or political powers certainly. Don’t you think it makes sense that fear (which we know to be the opposite of love) would have made the early creators of our cultures want to find a sense of CONTROL in the world which was so new to them and seemed so OUT OF CONTROL. In order to direct and control people’s beliefs about their essential natures through religion and political structures created for the sole purpose of CONTROLLING THE DEVELOPMENT OF SOCIETY.

Today we know better. We are all awakening to some new sense of ourselves. A feeling that what we have been thinking of as “important” in our daily lives has to shift and change. The value of being energetically fit and the knowledge that we are all connected on that energetic level. Life and the way we see our lives is changing very quickly and we seem to be in fact in a holding pattern. Prior to this energetic shifting, you may have felt the pressures of daily life in a different way. Sure, we all have financial issues at times, we have living issues, personality issues, job problems, family and health challenges. These experiences do not disappear once you have experienced the awesomeness of The All that is. But, the way you approach them and the impact they have on your daily existence will be greatly changed.

It is not possible in this human experience to live without some form of material support for most people. Once you have a shift experience, you can’t just drop your life, wave goodbye to your family, buy an orange robe and go chant on a mountainside. You still have to manage the realities of this human experience as well. That’s why we are a very important generation. Those of us who are here now are the pioneers of this kind of forward thinking. How to maintain and balance a human existence with spiritual knowledge is the great challenge of every awakened being today.prayer11-300x252

Every morning I try to read something spiritual to center my thoughts and guide my day. On this particular day I decided to read some blogs. Because I’m not really interested in “Aunt Annie’s Muffins” or “Our trip to Thailand” kind of reader, I usually go straight to the “spiritual” topics blogs. But again, I was sorely disappointed to see that most of the blogs I encountered were almost exclusively religious. Let me repeat – SPIRITUALITY has nothing to do with religion. It has to do only with the energetic connection we all have to one another. How you find that connection, through religion or other means – is an entirely personal decision and one which only you can explore to see what resonates as Truth with your soul. All paths to Rome – are good. I’d like to put forth that the practices I am emphasizing are both inclusive for all religions and exclusive in that they adhere to none of them.