My husband is going away on a “boys weekend” – says he needs some time. I’m excited. Not that there is anything wrong on the home front (please don’t send me any weird marital counseling emails or replies- everything is fine). No it is a normal human need to be alone with yourself sometimes and there is a very great possibility that i will have some actual alone time this weekend. Maybe that sounds a bit harsh to you but let’s be realistic; it doesn’t matter how much we love our spouses, after spending years and years living with anyone, it is always nice to reconnect with yourself. I have already passed out notice to the kids to make themselves scarce; mom’s having a weekend.
I plan on eating in the living room and whenever and whatever I want. I can have peanut butter sandwiches for dinner for three days if I feel like it. Although I know that whenever I get these rare times alone, I always like to spoiled myself with a delicious meal that would be too much trouble to make for a large crowd. Maybe eggs Benedict for breakfast? I dunno…but I’m going to spoil myself.
I am going to clean things. My drawers, maybe go through my writing and sort through the chaos. The kitchen drawers. I like doing quiet things that cause my mind to sleep when I am alone. I am doing a real clean up in my life, and it frankly feels wonderful. It began with a spring clean up of physical garbage accumulated through many years of hanging onto the wrong stuff. Then went to psychological clean up of old stuff, resentments, guilt – really UN useful stuff.
My relationships are under investigation by me right now. I am really looking at who I have invited into my intimate circle of friends, and who has just shown up and I haven’t bothered to see where they fit. I am in observation mode. Not that i am sitting around with a giant gavel waiting to proclaim if they get to keeps their heads or not. But I am looking at which relationships give me energy and which ones take it. Then I have to decide of the ones that take the energy, what purpose do they serve in my life. It’s called being conscious of where I am putting my energy. Maybe it’s middle age, but I realize that my energy is not an interminable font, and every day I have to pay attention as to where i am spreading myself or I become useless for everyone including myself.
I will take a weekend to refill and so will my husband. We enjoy missing each other 🙂 I still get a kick out of the fact that after a couple of days I feel a great gap when he isnt around. This is a good sign after so many years and experiences together. So, this weekend is dedicated to peace and quiet except for Saturday night which is a work night for me and SoulFusion. I am looking forward to playing with my old friend Roger who will replace my husband on rhythm guitar as he is going to play poker with his friends in the woods for the weekend. I am all for this male bonding thing – but I’ll be happy when he’s home.
Green Tea face mask – Check
Chocolate (various) – Check
Bottle of exotic alcohol – Check
Movies – check
Good Book – Check (reading The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck – extraordinary book!)
Pen and Paper for writing – Check
Paints and sketching materials – check
guitar – check
It’s going to be a beautiful weekend!