Is there something you are overthinking? A problem you feel is insurmountable? Do you have situations facing you that you have no clue how to rectify and they are taking up space and time in your head and life in a way that is making the rest of your life unaccessible- miserable? Are you exhsuated from trying to fix everything only to find that the answers you need aren’t showing up how, when and where you want them?
I have a solution for you only because I have been there, done that, and got the crazy person tee-shirt.You may think my answer to all your enormous problems is abit flakey and underactive, but I guarantee you it can’t be worse than your own self-will run riot.
Syurrender to your problems, your pain, your fear. Allow it to BE like it is, without tryign to think it away, fix it, change it or otherwise alter. Accept what it is for what it is, an dtry not to judge it. Just accept it.
Easy to do for some problems, and not so easy for others.
Surrender is the action you take once you fully accept that something is unmanageable. Screwed up. Out of control. Something about yourself or your life that is making it so you are not happy, fulfilled and inspired. Surrednering is not a passive thing; it is very active and takes strength and willingness because usually you don’y just do it once. You must continuously remind yourself of this promise not to interefer in your own life so much. In surrender yake a conscious decision to get out-of-the-way and let the universe develop a strategy to deal with whatever the issue is. It is an act of faith – and what brings you to surreder is not usually a day in disney land. It is heart break, hunger, sadness, fear.
You struggle with surrender because it requires that you relinquish control of your life to an unseen force. Depending on which religion you were raised in, you may or may not have a good relationship with that force. Often, those raised in religious cultures have been told of a judging God and one who will punish if they haven’t followed the rules. So, why then would anyone want to surrender to an unknown potentially angry God? who’s hands exactly are you putting your life into?
Surrender requires that you identify what it is exactly you have control over, and what you don’t. Then, consciously hand over the “uncontrollable” to this unknown force and WAIT. You wait for signs, for synchronicities, for interference from the universe. Have no doubt that it will come – but maybe not always the way you want it to.
That’s the other part – you have to identify how you THINK something will turn out, then completely let go of that expectation. Expectations are the reason why you take it back and try to manage it on your own again. When you find yourself making decisions, over thinking, trying to solve everything according to your schedule (which by the way God does not have a copy of) then it’s time to become conscious and give it up again.
You can surrender anything: pain, problems, unmanageable situations, addictions, health problems, mental health issues, relationships – you can surrender anything you want. Usually, you are driven to surrender only when you have exhausted your last effort at trying to control the uncontrollable.
I’ll give you an example. Many years ago, during the break up of my first marriage, I experienced a tremendous turmoil. Where would I live? I had three small children and had been busy raising them, so who would hire me? I had no furniture, no beds for me or the kids – where would we sleep? There were too may questions and far fewer answers. My head became embroiled in constant thinking thinking thinking of the next problem the next issue, the next unsolvable situation. I wold go says without eating. I suffered from debilitating anxiety and more often than not lost my fight with depression. I was finally one day driven to leave it alone because there was really nothing left to do.
Someone told me to create a “God Box”, which at the time seemed like a pretty weak solution to some very serious problems, but I had become willing to do just about anything to stop the constant turmoil. I made the God box, and as instructed put every one of my worries, separately on a piece of paper. Once in the box, I was no longer allowed to DO anything about that problem. I was only allowed to observe and wait until answers came to me in whatever form they could.
The first day after the God box I was walking through the shopping mall, reminding myself to “let it go” every few minutes when my mind would return to its constant ruminations. Suddenly I looked up and there was an old friend walking down the mall in the opposite direction. I hadn’t seen him in many years, so we sat down for a coffee to catch up on 15 years of time. During the conversation he told me that they were looking for someone at his work with exactly the kind of qualifications I had. It was just the break I had been looking for. I got the job and the slowly, all of the answers I was looking for came to fruition. The funny thing was, most of the “issues” I had put into the box, I quickly forgot about because life seemed to open up and one thing at a time my life fell into place. Sure the way it fell into place was completely different from what I would have orchestrated myself, but every single solution that came my way was WAY better than what I could have created.
What is it you are surrendering to when the circumstances of your life push you to a point where you realize there is nothing you can control but your self. Surrender is the conscious act of accepting fully and totally the circumstances of your life today, right now – at this moment. Surrender is a verb – an act of faith. But what is it exactly you are needing to have faith in? You are putting your faith in the balance of everything. You are part of a bigger picture, a grander whole. By surrendering, you are consciously aligning yourself with the forward creative flow of everything. You are floating with the tides rather than against them. Surrender has nothing to do with religion – and neither does God for that matter. There is a balance that exists and is maintained. By surrendering you are contributing and flowing with the balance. Surrender is not “giving up”. It doesn;t mean you are accepting the unacceptible – it means you are accessing a much GREATER force than your sheer will is alone.
Surrender is not always easy. I have a friend who has an awful debilitating neurological disorder. She has become a real example to me of how to surrender even your very life. I have another who has advanced cancer, and she too has taught me that surrender conserves your energy and increases the energy you have to give to the present moment. On surrender, we stop living in the future and the past and can exist more in the reality of the present moment.
I heard this poem a while back and thought I would share it with you.
ON SURRENDER – Geneen Roth (from: Women, Food and God)
Of this I am certain
Something happens every time
I stop fighting with the way things are.
Something happens t every one of my students
When they stop running their programs
about fear and deficiency and emptiness.
I don’t know what to call this turn of events
Or the freshness that follows it,
But I know what it feels like;
It feels like relief
It feels like infinite goodness
Like a distillation of every sweet fragrance
Every Heart stopping beauty
Every haunting melody you’ve ever heard.
It feels like the essence of tenderness and compassion
Like Love itself.
And the moment you feel it
You realize you ARE it.
That’s you’ve been here all along
Waiting for your return.
When you forget,
Which you always do,
you suddenyl understand that kindness to anyone
a plant, an animal, a stranger, a partner –
brings you closer to this.
That taking care of your body
is taking care of this.
That taking care of the earth
Is taking care of this.
And that you’d turn away from anyone or anything
That would ask you to leave this
Because this is what you have wanted
This is what you have longed for
This is what you have loved for eons.
without knowing how you know
That every step you have ever taken
Every person you have ever loved
Every task you have ever accomplished
Has been meeting this.
You – returning to yourself.
And that hell is nothing more than leaving this.
heaven is already here on earth.