PERSISTENT GHOSTS!

Over the course of my life I have had a few interests have really seemed to persist since my earliest memories; horses and nature, music, writing, singing, and ghost stories.  I have loved ghost stories since the beginning of time.  I am not talking gory gross stuff like Jason or Freddie here, I mean a well contrived, intelligently frightening ghost story. My favourite author as a young teenager was Edgar Allen Poe, I loved his morose romanticism. And I loved Van Gogh – who seemed to be a ghost even as an alive person.  My father brought me to England as a young girl and we went everywhere in search of ghost stories. The Tower of London ended up being our favourite although Scotland was a close second on the “spookiness” scale.  All of these “persistent interests” are what I would define as the call of my soul. Things that bring out passion in me that persist over a very long time, through changes in perception and understanding, come from a place that belies consciousness.   Once we realize the importance of these persistent interests and we take the time to honour them and understand what they represent to us, we begin to find wholeness within ourselves.  It is a sort of control born of a letting go of control.

I recall being a spiritual seeker since I was very young. I always looked for the “magic” in everything.  The concept of God fascinated me, but I never understood it as a part of who I was. Just a part of the story of my world and as a child the world is full of stories.

Ghost stories were the bridge between this world and the next for me.  They explained many of the mysteries of existence which I was looking for answers to at a very early age.  I can remember contemplating the nature of death as “ceasing to exist” and becoming terrified. I didn’t understand the lack of justice in the universe. Why would there be a God who would create us just so we could suffer, die and cease existing? It made no sense.

But religion made no sense either.  In my world of Catholicism I was taught that you were tap dancing through life trying to impress an unreachable immutable God who sat there just waiting for you to screw up.  Once you did screw up, and then watch out because the punishments were harsh and disparaging.  You had to count on an invisible thing that didn’t really seem to like you to begin with, being born a woman and with original sin and all that.  (We poor Catholics start off with a real moral disadvantage in the world!)

Then I discovered there were other types of religion; ones that honoured the earth and the elements we are all made of and reliant upon. This seemed to make more sense to my “inner self”. It felt more “real” and observant of the force we are all sort of aware of, but can’t quite put our fingers on.

Ghosts were that force. They were the “almost real” of the divine. One of the castles my father and I visited long ago in England.

I went from reading ghost stories because I liked to be scared, to reading real encounters and more scientific paranormal literature, recent studies and new findings.  I could see that I was looking for confirmation of “that which cannot be named” in human experience.  The Tao Te Ching begins by saying “That which can be named is not the Tao that is”.  This becomes clearer as I understand that the more I looked straight at the energy that was eternal, the less I understood it but the closer I come to understanding myself as eternal.

My research and understanding went from “about other people’s stories” to my own personal experiences.  By reading, I began to understand what the symbols and designs that the universe sent were.  That everyone had this power to perceive, but in of us in a very different way, so that comparing experiences is very difficult and hard to validate.    I decided to become more open to the energy of those who lived before us.  I began to understand that every form of “consciousness” leaves behind an impact of energy which can subsist beyond their physical form.  If that energy is “unresolved” or has attachments to the consciousness of another, then the energy stays connected and thereby impacts the other individual in a myriad of ways.  When those ways are out of control, they call it possession.

Not all remaining energies are ambivalent or malicious.  Many of them retain of the personality characteristics, such as a sense of humour, which they received in their recent life.  This makes them “recognizable” to their soul mates still existing in human form.

Soul mates, as we have described them come in any form that Spirit so chooses.  If we are supposed to receive a message, we will receive it, by radio, book, interpersonal exchange, coincidence or synchronicity, be assured you will receive what you are meant to.  Your job then is to understand yourself well enough to know when that information is being received; this is called honing your intuition.  You open up all of your energy centers.

Some people receive intuition through their body, they can feel it coming. Or sometimes people feel intuition in their mind; they have a thought that may indicate a danger or a change coming. Other times, people feel intuition in their “gut”, the middle of the body, the solar plexus.  This place of the body has often been associated in Hindu and Buddhist teachings for example, with the emotional experiences of being human.

Our soul mates, attached to the various chakra centers of the body, do not detach until we find a resolution in the consequences of our relationships.  This is how some people end of up with the spirits of the departed interacting and impacting their lives.  Until they resolve the relationship and find every ounce of beauty available to them from it, they will be as unresolved as the spirit which is unwillingly attached to them.

My husband and I are both on our second and god-willing final marriage.  We have a tremendous and supportive relationship, a great deal of love and respect for one another.  We enjoy a great sex life and travel the world together eating food and enjoying the earth. We are great.

But before “each other” we had our first marriages.  Mine wasn’t particularly bad, it was just unfulfilling.  I knew that if I stayed in that circumstance, I would surely not ever experience my life. I would simply exist through it and so as a young adult I left the relationship and began over again.

My husband though had a 16 year marriage with a woman who he claims to have quite often despised, and following her unexpected death many years ago, he has never found the “beauty” in their relationship. Not the real learning and inner knowing that these kinds of conflicting first and second chakra relationships can bring.  In fact, I can see clearly how we also have a first and second chakra relationship in many ways, but in contexts which heal the previous experiences of our pasts.

Recently we invited a house guest to come and live with us. She is from Brazil and has experienced an entirely different life and spiritual teaching than we have here in the West.  In Brazil, although she lives in the big city near Sao Paolo, there is a wide and varied practice of Johrei, energetic healing through channeling the energy of God; a prayer which when fully intended opens you up as a conduit to healing.  She also sees the energies which remain behind, the ghosts, which in a house that is over 100 years old, provides a significant challenge in our household.

The other day she told me she saw a spirit sitting on the couch in our living room, that she was a very sad woman, extremely thin (thinner than my guest which is nearly inconceivable) and sad-looking.  Like she was waiting for something.  When I took out an old photo album, she identified my husband’s ex wife as the woman.  What really threw me (You may not believe it but I am an eternal skeptic) was when she said that the woman had very bad hair, very dry and unhealthy looking.  This was an incredible insight because when she died, she had been going through radiation treatments and her hair was a mess, all dry and scraggly from all the treatments.

It didn’t scare me, I felt resolved with the woman, having raised her kids for h last 12 years, I feel my slate is pretty clean.  But he has spent all this time avoiding it, and I think we both thought he could avoid it forever, but apparently that was not meant to be.

Last night we did yoga together.  He really wanted to try after he pulled his back while we were in Costa Rica and doing a small amount of yoga is the only thing that seemed to fix him. He became a convert J  so, last night seemed like a good time to tell him his ex-wife’s ghost had followed us here and the reckoning time had come. God does not have a copy of our agendas, and it became clear to me that I was the only one that could give him this information without him thinking I am a lunatic.  He would have thought anyone else was mental.

Then I got the thought that even she was a soul mate…wow.  I told him this thought, and he became incensed.  He told me he felt insulted and angry.  I thought that was ironic and said nothing more.  She was still working on him. Wow. I wonder when he will be ready to give it up.

Forgiving does NOT MEAN that you say that what someone did to hurt you was OK.  Forgiveness is surrendering to the reality that nothing happens by accident. That nothing in this world is mistimed in any way.  That free will means simply we are in control of how we PERCEIVE it all…how we interpret it.  Intuition means we interpret with our HIGHEST MIND.

So, my intuition, my highest mind, is telling me this isn’t going to go away so easily, but I am further convinced that her energy in many ways attaches itself to me and brings me down.  My higher level of “awareness” or consciousness has made it so that I am more diligent in the condition of my own energy. I take care of myself physically more understanding that it is all attached, all flows into itself all the time.  I am not a separate being.  I get that. But I also know that my separate consciousness cannot sustain her emotionalism, if in fact that is what is happening.

So, our ghost (apparently one of three…more stories to come) is teaching me that some souls have a real and definite purpose with one another, and until that purpose is fulfilled, they will go on and on and on.

I don’t know if he will get it, but that’s not my job. I just told him what my heartfelt it wanted to say. I have a better ear for my heart now.  I think we can only bring what we feel in our hearts to someone, then let go of the results. Make sure our side of the street is clean and keep walking forward.  Trying to do that in harmony with all of the energies that exists in our lives, through our chakra connections to us each other the planet and the universe ultimately increases our ability to understand ourselves and our purpose further.

Maybe you still don’t believe in ghosts, but the next time someone pops into your consciousness again, through whatever medium (a Brazilian psychic living in your house or a song on the radio) send a prayer up, whatever kind words or a thought for that person.  The universe is always speaking to us and
telling us what we should be focusing on.  It’s our job to learn every way we can to listen.

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One thought on “PERSISTENT GHOSTS!

  1. I love reading your soulful writing… It leads me to connect deeply with my Essence (High Self). How I have searched to find someone who speaks the language that I understand, the language that flows from a place within a human being; a place that I call “Essence” or “God within”. I’m so glad that person is you- my dear cousin. Thank you.

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