“I am on an airplane high in a night sky. I see the stars out my window and I am thinking about how clear and perfect and CLOSE they look. I notice benignly that there is no one on the plane with me. I am enjoying the peace and silence. I can also feel that my horse is somewhere on board and that makes me happy. I feel secure and relaxed.
Up ahead I see a sudden flurry of activity in the captain’s cabin. The door is slightly ajar obviously unbeknownst to the participants of the argument not meant to be seen by a passenger in the cabin. The flight attendant suddenly stops arguing with the captain when she spots me looking at her and her shoulders slump. She looks to the captain for approval do something and she begins to walk towards me. I can tell that something terrible has happened by the look on her face. I feel an intuitive understanding that I am about to die on this airplane. We are going to blow up…I can just tell.
It happens fast; I have no time to become afraid in my consciousness. I don’t recall any noise, just a silent whoosh as the flames erupt behind the form walking towards me. I see her evaporate as fast as one blink take. She is there, a black shadow moving slowly toward me, shoulders slumped i frank resignation to our fate. The next blink she is gone, consumed in a nanosecond. But time slows for me now and the flames look somehow beautiful, rolling towards me in a soft nearly inviting cascade. I am not afraid. I look down at my arms and time is now at a snail’s pace; I watch the hair curl on my forearms feel a rush of heat as I evaporate and become something else, somewhere else. I am something I have always been.
I am in a new place now; somewhere both familiar and foreign at once. I struggle to “understand” this white room, made of light it seems, except for one door which is grey and seems an anomaly in this peaceful clean place. There is even a part of my lucid mind already searching for a meaning in something so psychologically obvious and basic as standing feeling formless in a white room with two doors; one white and nearly indiscernible and one grey to which I have absolutely no affinity. But there is also a part of me that knows enough to tell my mind to shut up and allow me the opportunity of just experiencing this place, which is really no “place” at all.
I decide to move towards the white door feeling suddenly quite fearless and free. I push on it and it swings wide revealing a breathtakingly beautiful canvas of nature before me. It was everything I loved revealed to me all at once. Hills and valleys and rivers, animals and colours and birds. Incredible huge mountains surrounded this place like a protective shawl. Their bases all enrobed in perfect shades of green, lush valleys and sapphire blue lakes which dot the landscape. I am standing so high and yet I can see everything so clearly; this is an amazing feeling.
I can “feel” everyone’s communication like nothing that we say or do is separate and it all occurs at this moment because there simply is no other moment. All of this is The Truth, and anything else is an illusion we are able to create. I feel everything and everyone all at once. There is such joy in my heart! I can see now that nothing happens alone or separately from a great design and I am very much a part of the great design, as is everything that is alive. I feel The All.
“What the hell is The All?” I ask myself.
Whatever it is, I think if I step off this escarpment I will fall “into the All””, I think to myself. Dude that’s crazy.
First of all I know I’m dreaming, so I keep having to push at my ego mind to stop analyzing this dream even while I am asleep. Secondly I am beginning to feel like when I was a little kid and everything in my world revolved around experiencing new things. I loved that time, where it was ok to fall and play and enjoy. I just want to jump out,,,and so I do.
I am not surprised that I can fly. It’s beautiful here. The air is perfect and I suddenly understand that there is no time where I am. This is just free. It is the everything of everythings and it is giving me a “break”, this is how I feel, although it makes no sense to my “rational mind” now or even later after I analyze my dream.
So, I decide once again to just flow with this experience. I let myself enjoy the JOY I felt, just looking around and BEING in the world, instead of participating in it. I feel such love flow through me. There is a little farmer down there with his sheep and other animals. He is slightly aware of me but not so much. Maybe he thinks I am a cloud?
I know I have to go back to the room eventually, but because there is no time I know I can continue to enjoy this “rejoining” feeling I was having for as long as I need to “re-member”. I continue to fly peacefully just breathing until I am compelled to return. I appear suddenly at what seems to be another door. The room is not big per se, but seems to accommodate the possibility of everything. Suddenly to my left I see a small tent with a bevy of women milling about within. At a table which is positioned under an exterior awning made of old school materials like burlap and ancient polished wood are two women.
The one to my left stands to greet me and I suddenly know she was my grandmother in life. She explains that she and the other women are the keepers and creators of these incredible boxes meant to keep their ancestors memories well for future review.
“So if my understanding is right, our experiences come down to snippets kept in a secret box which you review with your dead ancestors after you return to that energetic plain?
My grandmother, now about 30 years old dressed in a beautiful soft brown handmade pioneer dress with an overskirt dotted with little brown and beige roses. She is explaining to me that it is not yet time for me to see my box but that when the time came she would be there as would my mother. Part of me really understands that I am not yet finished filling my box,. But I can’t ignore the slight tug in my heart that I realize I am not here to stay in this peaceful place. I was only visiting.
I see a man in front of me. He has the most amazing smiling blue eyes. It seems he is someone I know, but I just can’t place him from anywhere. He looks like a real old school hippy; brown shoulder length hair, a flannel shirt with a tattered sleeveless green army vest over top. Ratty jeans and a tattoo of a fish hooking his lip on his bottom lower lip and chin. A real hippy with a sense of humor.
Strangely enough he is pushing a baby carriage. In the way that we seems to communicate here (with no words, there is just a flow of thought and comprehension which occurs that is unimpeded by language, if that makes any sense. He “asks me” to follow him, imparting to me that he has something to “teach me”, so I bid my grandmother farewell knowing that I will see her again (I am not sad, which almost surprises me), and follow the man. He takes me and the baby carriage onto a bus, like a big cushy greyhound. I sit in a chair beside him and he begins to play with the baby in the baby carriage, just making faces and being silly, which cracks the kid up. Suddenly the baby begins to laugh and I feel it; I feel what God sounds like. It is extraordinary – like angels singing.
He stops and says that I have learned what I came to learn here and must now return. As we are walking back to the room I notice I can’t “see” him anymore. I can’t really “see” me either though. But he responds to me clearly in my mind that he is always near me because he IS me…we are the same. Now I can feel him again, his warm presence steady by my side and I begin to understand what he means by this.
Suddenly I am alone in this room, and behind me I hear a conveyor. My son comes up and looks at me slightly confused. I convey to hi in the manner that we “speak” in this place where he is, and he goes to the door and waves to me. I know we will see each other soon and I am happy to see him so free.
Next my husband arrives, on a conveyor like mechanism to my left. He arrives naked and confused. I go to him and explain what has happened and where he is. He is afraid and so I put my arms around him and we melt together.
I awaken and see the world anew.