Matters of the Heart –

Lately we have begun to do energetic retreats on my farm where each month we focus on a specific Chakra and work with horses and in nature to reconnect our awareness and understanding to that specific chakra.  Some say that there are seven of these energetic centers in a human body. Other schools of thought have identified many more – but we keep it to the basic seven. We use our understanding of these energetic centers and our more extensive knowledge of equine behaviour, to help people connect back to themselves through horses.  Our horses are pretty special, and each on seems to have its own specific talent with people.

What seems to happen for me is that as I study a particular center,  my life events revolves around the issues that the chakra we are studying brings up. The fourth (current) chakra addresses matters of the heart – the issues of love – and I find myself challenged and riding the wave of events and activities around me.

To bring you up to date – we have explored the first three Chakras.

The first dealing with the basic necessities of life – companionship, food shelter, clothing, a job – this Chakra is very “earth bound” and tends to deal with the most early memories a person has. The ones that teach us about how the world functions.  The memories explored in this Chakra have to do with our parents and the family group we were raised in.

The second Chakra has to do with you creative nature – again an “earthbound” physical chakra.  Here we observed how we work in groups, what our creative styles were and how we could go about in our lives expressing our creativity.  This chakra also deals with out relationship with sex and creation as a sexual process.  Many women in the retreat had never considered their sexual experiences in a way that contributes to their understanding of who they really are. This one lasted the longest – talking around  fire into the wee hours.

The third Chakra dealt with emotions.  I suppose the spiritual goal is to, as they say, become “master” of our emotions, but I am not sure it is possible to be a human and really do that. Even Jesus was supposed to have lost his temper with all of the merchants doing business in a church.  The Buddha was overcome with grief when we saw all the poverty around him.  These are human emotions.  It’s what we do with these emotions that lays within our power. It is not within out power whether or not we have them.  The study of this chakra in nature in encouraged through quiet presence and awareness.  Horses encouraged us to be present with emotion and realizing that emotions can’t kill you but is simply present to allow you to understand yourself in any situation.

And now we have come to the fourth chakra – and issues of the heart and the energy of love. 

Historically we are confounded by love. we have complicated it in a way that is amazing to me.  We have different “applications” for love – romance, children, family, friends – we seem to believe there are different forms of it for tailor made for each relationship. Each form of this love is more or less open and vulnerable and giving than the next.  We love conditionally.  This is human nature. We love with expectations, and requirement and need. We love because it is good for us, or because it makes us happy and we feel good.

We pull back our love and close our heart when things don’t go the way we think they should. We withhold love when we fear being emotionally damaged by our vulnerability. We use the idea of love as a weapon to get what we want from others.  We say “I love you” with autonomic regularity, rarely giving consideration to the real meaning of the words.

The fourth Chakra – the energetic center of our “heart” as well as the physical center of our body. It is the bridge between the earth bound and ethereal chakras. The heart is the jumping off place – faith is it progenitor. is where we are coming up to in the next retreat.  It is an issue of love – compassion, empathy. The heart Chakra is the  first portal to the “other-world” – the spiritual eternity every human questions and ponder.  Buddhists and Hindus will tell you that you have access to this paradise of gentle living, here in this lifetime – if only you could give up all of your preconceived notions of right and wrong, and accept the present moment.

The heart has everything to do with the current state of affairs you find yourself in.   The energy of the heart is most present when EGO is sleeping.  HEART and EGO don’t speak the same language, so they don’t really hang out together much.  EGO finds that when HEART speaks, he goes to sleep, quickly bored of the sweet drone of her voice. When HEART is open, SOUL loves to come out and play!  She likes to find other souls and talk with them. SOUL loves to play when the playground is full of love.

In preparing this next retreat, I am driven to better understand what the heart is all about.   In my search for understanding, the Universe seems to be providing me with ways to explore what “conditional” and unconditional love is.  What true love means, and how it fits into my life.  The “feeling” of love with anyone in my life seems to be expanding and I feel a tremendous peace and lack of anxiety about the future – a rare and pleasant state for me.  I am present – with my heart – and find that my thoughts and concerns turn from personal introspection to a compassion and concern for the people in my world.

To better understand…I wrote  poem to share with you.

WHAT LOVE ISN’T

Love isn’t  being nice to everyone.

Love isn’t letting the world use you as a doormat.

Love doesn’t mean that everyone will like you.

Sometimes the greatest acts of love

cut to the deepest place,

and can change you forever.

And that’s ok.

Love isn’t ice cream on a cone,

or sweet flowers in a vase.

Love is a goodbye,

when hellos are holding you back

Or you suddenly hear your own lie.

Love is an ear,

when the mouth wants to move.

Love is seeing you,

without needing to see myself.

Love isn’t a complicated thing,

It’s all in the heart,

Opening wide -

and suddenly expands…

Creating a new star.

Love is expansion

Holding within it’s own self

the possibility of everything.

~Namaste~

NEXT RETREAT – MAY 19 -

Just One of Those Things

Life is GREAT

This is just one of those moments I have to share…cause it was hilarious.

I get off the plane from Montreal to Miami after two hours of sleep and still recovering from working our farm through the most horrendous winter in recent history.  I am told I have to take a SUPER FAST rail train, which is probably a half mile walk away, through the serpentine corridors of MIA – Miami International Airport – after a grueling 3 and a half hour plane ride where all I did was try not to drool on myself or the distracted businessman when I feel asleep.  I love travelling – but I hate flying.  Not DOING anything for hours on end makes me restless and easily irritated.

Disembarking in Miami is a visceral experience.  The climate change is almost too much for the few seconds.  I could feel my entire body soaking up the sun which was just outside the strange birth like canal they have us walk through to get into the airport.  OK I admit it, I find airports pretty creepy.  There is no airport, except maybe the African ones in Conakry or Boke, that I have ever liked. Those didn’t have walls.   They make me tired and angry.

I’m an energetically sensitive person, and airports are places where everyone is in a rush to get somewhere.  There is no real “enjoy the journey”, as humans are possibly at their worse when travelling.  Tired, bedraggled  overwrought and frustrated humans form endless cattle slaughter like line ups, only to end up having to take off your belt, shoes change necklace, wedding rings, hair thingies…whatever. Get xrayed by an angry looking man with a magic wand in his hand and then get redressed, all the while stressing that your holding up the line from the others who didn’t pass through looking like a hippie making all the customs people triple check me for pot. Seriously..? I’m not a dumb hippie

Even the guy who has no particular job but to look at your boarding pass after security, waving his dreadlocks prpudly looked at my hippie skirt an dmy guitar and said

“eh mon, I just wanna sit back withchoo and smoke a fatty and play some toooons…”, he smiles at me.

Hilarious.

Upon arriving in Miami we are ushered out of the plane through some weird artsy tunnel that makes me think of a birth canal the way it is all weirdly painted and stuff. Then I realized this was INTENTIONAL. Who does that? Walls laden with some bank doinmg a series visual advert on the tunnel walls finally declaring declaring EMERGINING INTO A NEW WORLD WITH “_____” BANK NAME. I don’t even remember the name of the Bank – that’s how stupid this ad was. Suddenly POOF! You’re out in the middle of golden star studded fish floors an dfish art and things on the walls and hanging from teh cieling. I reminded me of a big terrible museum full of soul-less art.  It’s the most nondescript ambivalent shit I have ever seen, and we are SURROUNDED by it.  My mind begins to wonder what it is I should expect after coming out of life on a 22 acre horse-farm.

Suddenly I am bombarded with advertisements, and smells and people, and pushy people and eye avoiding people and busy hurried and harassed people.  I get pushed around a little as  I try to manage two enormous bags and a guitar. I am running like a penguin up to moving sidewalks to get to the rental car place, to which I have to then take a train to get to. In fact I discover it is a fast moving monorail train. My stomach doesn’;t feel so good.  I am tired, lost, alone, disoriented and my hair has gone suddenly terribly fuzzy – … I remember thinking  ”I MUST look like  a Calgon commercial…”

I remember I didn’t pack a brush.

Now I am in the rental car line-up, again we are set up like a cattle field. I am listening to the incomprehensible banter of the people in front of me and behind me. I can’t identify their language. That’s weird.   I have a little “stand in line” game I play to keep my mind from going insane, and that is to identify people’s accents or dialects. I have traveled allot, and I kinda get a kick out of this. But for whatever reason, I couldn’t understand or figure any of it out. Not even the continent. In the past the hardest to identify are ALL the french dialects. I mean, french in Quebec, other parts of Canada, and in Africa and Haiti and Switzerland are all SO different, they could almost be considered their own separate languages.

I finally arrive at “Vincent”, and stout and funny very black man with a wide open smile and honest eyes.  I’m relieved.

He sees my name and all of a sudden he is practicing his french on me…

“Mahree-Jowsaaay Braww…” he says, drawing out the fact that he didn’t call me HOSAY which of course would mean I was a Hispanic man. This has happened repeatedly to me but that’s OK.

“I speak 4 languages fluently”, says the smiling black face and gentle eyes.

“Wow – that’s amazing”, I smiled at him.

“I like when I have the chance to practice.

“Tu sais – si tu ne l’utilise pas – tu le perdreras”. And he smiled and winked.

Oy - If you don’t use it you loose it”

seriously??

I JUST LEFT QUEBEC.

Apparently God DOES have a sense of humour.

So, after much friendly francophone banter, Vincent and I part ways, with a kiss on my hand (…it was adorable) and a friendly wave of his co-workers. I felt like I had entered the Wonderful World of Disney.  I was motioned left some half kilometer from the counter and to an elevator to the first level. Hauling my enormous gear, guitar, knapsack, suitcase etc… dragging behind me panting like a wild animal I am bleary eyed by the time I get to a very friendly fresh-faced young rental agent speaking with another woman who welcome me and says in assumption…

“Are you here for a mini van ma’am?” She asked friendly and compassionate.

OK I have to admit it..I was insulted. It was ALL ego folks.  But she was right. I looked like a bedraggled middle aged mom just hauling gear just heading up a gaggle of kids and red faced husband.  I realize I have looked this way for a few well earned years.

“Um, No”, I said, handing her my contract, “I believe my husband reserved a convertible”, I said smiling at the woman.  The agent looked down at the contract, and the random woman standing t her left asked me

“You’re here alone…no kids?”, like somehow she couldn’t believe it because I looked so bad.

“Yup”, I said a little smugly now, rocking on my heels.

She smiled and winked at me conspiratorially, like we had a girl’s club or something.

Yup, a few days completely alone without my husband or kids.

Her smile widened.  Not that we don’t love our husbands, but time alone to a mother is an extremely precious commodity.

The agent turned and smiled pointing in a completely different direction away from the mini vans and said,

“well then, please go ahead and pick any one of these that you want”.

There in front me me stood a line up of absolutely awesome  sports cars. ALL convertibles.  I don’t really know or care about cars I felt a tingle of excitement kick away my fatigue  and I took my time, savoring the amazing choice I had before me.

Sometimes choices are hard and ponderous. And then, sometimes they’re just fun. 

“Pick any one?”, I said over my shoulder still unbelieving.

“Yes ma’am, keys are in there. let me know and I’ll show you how to work the convertible”.

I have always had a soft spot for all things black, not in a morose way, but because black is a colour that doesn’t mess around. It can’t be, in any way, mistaken for something that it is not. Black is black. I like how it just is what it is. Plus, black is sexy.

So, I picked a sexy black Chrysler 200 with a fully automatic convertible roof.

Oh holy cow did I have fun with that roof!  The weather between Miami and the Keys changed about 6 times and I kept getting lost, so i had to put it up and down and up an d down. It tucked into the truck automatically like the Bat mobile  It was just awesome. AND all the radio stations in the Keys don’t suck like they do here in Montreal. The rain came down in torrential buckets one second and the other it was sunny and clear and then there would be more rain. It was really confused and unpredictable. And something in me refused to drive with the roof up if it was sunny. I had just lived through Hell Winter 2013, and I was not going to waste one bloody second of sunshine on any roof. Oh Hell no.

Let me explain now that getting lost in the Keyes takes a special kind of talent since there is only one way in and one way out through the Everglades.  Absolutely NO ONE walks the Everglades, sober that is.  But  I manged to get lost. Allot in fact. And this caused me to have great adventures  I met a very nice Hispanic girl at a seven eleven who couldn’t tell me where the highway was.  At all. That was cool. Then outside a woman who told me she was a fortune teller, I asked if she could foresee where I would find the highway, she giggled and gave me great directions. Predictable Win?

These encounters set the stage for the rest of my wacky vacation, meeting people in unlikely places, and sharing wisdom and wonderment.  laughs and parts of which I will share with you.

In this picture,

This was actually taken after my husband joined me and I looked much happier and relaxed…not quite as “cat on a hot tin roof”

Convertibles are fun.

It’s good to be silly sometimes.

~peace~

SOUL AND EGO: Writing Our Own Stories

This is what Soul Would Say:

Earth has an ego and a soul – just like we do. The massacres in Boston yesterday, were the ego – an ego we are ALL responsible for.  The Ego wants to make a point, it wants to be RIGHT it wants to “win” and it wants to “own” the material.  This makes absolutely no sense at all.  Does it make sense to you?  Ask yourself the hard questions. It won’t hurt.

Often it takes a catastrophic event to remind us that we are all a part of a living cell; a macro-cosmic environment which is our planet.  Just as with our human-physiological selves(the microcosmic version of earth) when one system is out of whack, the whole thing goes a little screwy.  The planet has an ego just like we do…and it has a Soul.  Yesterday Boston saw another ugly display of Ego trying to make a point about something unimportant and completely motivated by fear. This is a difficult time of change.

The fact is that right now  the energetic system of our planet is readjusting, and we are seeing all sorts of strange  happenings personally and globally. Bombs at the Boston Marathon, epidemics of cancer, teen suicide, grown men shooting children in the face for wanting to go to school, mental illness at an all time incredible high.  The planet is sick. Did you know nearly 850,000 people this year alone will kill themselves?

We have incredible strength and power in our thoughts.   What you think will be created.  I not only believe it, but when my Ego is quiet enough, when I am diligent in my spiritual practice, I can even work with this idea directly. We all can. It’s not some special magical power like a super hero or religious leader that only special people get. It is a power which resides equally within each of us.  The choices you make will directly implicate how much of this power you become aware and connected to.

That is why there is so much power in prayer – no matter what your belief system; prayer is universal.

Information and a relatability between each other is also emerging at a furious pace.  We need to both acknowledge and use our “powers” as soon as possible.

Beyond how you eat and and whether or not you do yoga, this power is accessible and available to you. You just have to decide it really. The amazing thing is that once you know how to access your own, then you can directly help the entire planet. We all can.  One person – one light at a time.   Quantum physics is constantly re-proving how far reaching the implications of a simple single thought can be in epic detail.  It’s really an amazing age to be living in.

But we have so much tragedy. That’s the way it is when things change. Similar to the 60′s when an energetic shift in consciousness caused tremendous social upheaval as well.  It amazes me how we still idealize the 60′s in our popular media, with it’s flowers and love, cool beads, music, sexual liberation and civil rights – often forgetting that these great acts of creation, either ideological or artistic, were propagated by tremendous national and international pain and fear.  The 60′s and 70′s were a precursor to what is happening now, and they were chalk full of tragedy and drama and horrifying events.  The death’s of great minds and leaders, social upheavals - again a readjustment period.  We are experiencing a stepped up version of this time in our current circumstance I believe.

Now events are much more powerful and pervasive. We have a physically globally connected singular world mind, in the form of the internet. Its consequences and effects are beyond anything we could ever have imagined and we are just at the very tip of something that is inclining us to learn how closely connected to all of the energies around us that we really are.

Some people are starting to understand the implications of this and are hopping on the bus with both feet towards a fearless conscious evolution.  This emergent understanding of ourselves as energetic spiritual beings, connected in every way to and from our creative source, far supersedes anything religion has ever attempted to delve into. Why? Because weren’t ready.  Learning anything, I have been taught with horses, is like learning the alphabet.  You cannot make too many words if you skip learning certain letters.  You need the whole alphabet to make sentences. And so, now, we have access to the whole alphabet, and we are starting to write our own stories.

The only things that will last are the things we attach to the only aspect of existence that doesn’t change – and that is our own personal consciousness. Our energy. Our US-ness. The I AM part of you. Even if you have never heard this, I bet somewhere inside of you this makes some weird kind of unrelatable sense. That’s the way deep truth feels. Intangible but solid.

Boston was a horrible tragedy. But so are the countless deaths in Afghanistan every day.  There are many hundreds if not many thousands of children who have watched their own fathers die there, as did the little 8 year old boy who sadly experienced this with his own father at the Boston Marathon Bombings.  Are those fathers less important to their children?  I don’t think so. We just need to stop killing each other.

Segue…

I am going away for a few days to be alone. It will be good to clear my mind.  I like to meditate and gather my energies back when I have a chance to do this – unplug from technology and remember what I feel like – unhindered.

I am very lucky in my life to have the help and support of an incredible Tribe. My tribe is very special. We have consciously chosen one another.  We choose to be honest and supportive. We help each other be brave and fearless in our life choices, and we mostly spend time reminding each other of who we really are.

Everyone needs a tribe. Ego hates my tribe. When I “hang with my tribe”, in whatever form it is in that day, ego is mighty quiet.

He wouldn’t get a word in edgewise over the cackling anyway.

~Namaste~

ROUND 13: Soul Sings a Song!

There are two things I have come to know for sure in life. The first is you WILL get what you pray for – SO BE CAREFUL!  Maybe (probably) it won’t arrive in the form, shape or colour you thought it would arrive, but I can guarantee you my friends, that if you pray earnestly for something..you will get it.

The second thing that I have learned is that the more we think we know how this life will turn out, the more incredibly wrong we will find we are.  There are surprises EVERYWHERE! At every turn, I have been shown the unpredictability and absolute adventurous magic of this life, and I am in awe.   Sometimes, the story bends and turns darkly.  It can be filled with loss and drama and grief, as much as it can overflow with love and gratitude and joy.

How I experience any event in my life entirely has to do with how determined I am to stay spiritually connected.  Soul keeps me and my overly active mind on the straight and narrow.   Ego is always  busy lifting power weights and gearing up for when I let my presence and awareness slip away.

Ego has a chance to come out and play if I don’t sleep enough, don’t eat well, don’t excercise and meditate. Ego has an especially great time if I forget to set boundaries, go around motivated by people-pleasing and allow myself to dwell in the illusion of guilt from the past or anxiety in the future.  Ego never seems to exist in THIS particular moment.  Where there is a desire to maintain a conscious contact to our creative/creator source, without the encumbrances and limitations of human expectations on that relationship.

But life isn’t all very predictable, and knowing where and when to head off Ego at the pass becomes a challenge of staying present and aware in this moment. I think God keeps it real – so there are curves in the road.  And thank God for those curves!  If we could know the ENTIRE story and how it were to unfold BEFORE hand, we would probably just stand there terrified to move forward at all like deer caught in the headlights.  It’s those curves that give us space and allowance and time to assimilate the next set of challenges on the road.

 

There are always surprises…you never know how anything will turn out really.

******************************************************************************************************************************************************

Soul hears a knock at the door…

She opens it and finds another – just like her…

Loneliness lifts. The sun shines.

Thank God for the curves in the road.  She is surprised that she is not on her knees.

In fact…She is elated.

A song fills the room – a sweet soulful melody, moving in and out of time gently like silk.

Soul begins to sing inside, deep in the place where songs are created.

Ego sends out a muffled barely audible sound from beyond the mind- Soul doesn’t hear him.

“That song sucks”.

Soul smiles and continues her sweet composition.

The stars turn their faces towards the Her and stand still in rapt attention.

The sun and the moon dance lightly between one another in the falling midday sun.

Her song is a breath of relief that she is till here – she feels it deeply in this moment- the one that is her gift to herself.

Soul is on fire. In this moment there is only her song and nothing else.

The sound of something like a summer night compliments the tune. Soul feels like she is writing with the whole world as her orchestra and Love is her muse.

Ego…?

What ego?

 

Round 12: Ego Vs Soul – The Wait

It’s a funny thing that this 12th round of the big boxing match between my soul and my ego is all IN MY HEAD, because if you would look at some chakra charts, that’s exactly where your 12th chakra is, right above your head, way up in the sky.

That’s about how I feel.

Many people don’t give credit to the effects that the moon can have on our general temperaments, but I am starkly aware that a new moon is coming tomorrow, and my soul has gone into ZZZZZZ mode. Ego is up, on fire, and ready to tango.

Some moons have the effect of greater energy and creativity, like the past full moon in Libra. I was a creating MACHINE!  I was painting, sketching, singing, playing, writing. it was a blast.

Then a sort of darkness falls over me, and I lose my speed, chug chug chug down to a slow…and there is no more.

I sit quietly.  Look around. Wait.

I hate waiting.

I prefer Chaos to waiting.

“But you have self awareness…you will not create chaos. ” Soul reminds me.

Phewf. That’s a relief.

I will just sit and wait.

While ego tries and tries to knock me down, over and around.

Soul has a little nap – getting herself ready for the next stage.The next round. The next game.

It’s going to be ok.

She told me she had faith I could handle myself with Ego.  He’s just-a-big-bully. Hmph.

“Just tell him to go to his room”, she said before yawning widely and sauntering off for her nap.

“How?” I asked.

“You’ll know”, she yawned again. “I need to refill”. Were her last words.

Without hesitation, Ego sees his chance.  He comes crawling out of his lair where he had been quite ignored for a long time.  He is dusty, dishevelled and annoyed.  He stretches and yawns, his foul breath filling my nostrils.

“Ugh…not you again”, I feel the tension in my gut.

He gnashes his nasty teeth and growls his nasty roooooaaaarrr…and rasies his eyebrow.

I sit up straight and close my eyes prepared to do what i was told: wait.

So I begin my wait.

Because I know

When soul wakes they will dance under the darkened moonlight.

~Namaste~

HEALING WITH HORSES – THE THIRD CHAKRA

HEALING WITH HORSES – THE THIRD CHAKRA

WILLPOWER – INTUITION – FEAR- GUT FEELING- PERSONAL POWER

Building Spiritual Confidence

Third Chakra Lesson Of the Horse:  “You’re allowed to be afraid – but you can’t let it govern your choices and actions”

 

A horse naturally knows when you are comfortable with being approached as demonstrated here by JJ and Tiara.

The third chakra is considered to be the center of energetic power of a person; it is our “gut feeling”, our intuition and our desire to move forward – our willpower.  If your third chakra is out of alignment or is blocked, then you will experience lack of feeling powerful, lack of willpower, hesitancy in decision making, and an inability to move forward on plans you have for yourself.  You will continuously questions your intuition or gut feelings about things.  You will find that you ignore your gut, and then regret it.  Physiologically, Third Chakra blockage results in digestive issues and sensitivities.

We are encouraged through the study of chakras to become aware that we are both physical and energetic beings – spiritual in nature, and connected to a higher source, in whichever way you conceive of that source.  Through the practices of presence and awareness, we become more in tune with our connection to that divine source and the manner in which it communicates to us directly, is through our “gut instincts”.  Connecting with that source and really understanding where your center of power comes from – is the ticket to the removal of all fear.

Historically we have downplayed our instinct in favour of pure rationalism – today that is changing. Women especially have been taught over the millennia to “tune down” their inner navigational systems. In North America the culture has been created around a belief that “emotional response” is weak and invalid, when in reality, an ability to listen to and make decisions based on a faithful understanding of the “Still small voice” within – is the most powerful choice a human being can make.  Not paying attention to our inner guidance has resulted in the evolution of a culture run entirely cerebrally and materialistically – and that kind of focus is getting us nowhere fast. .  We have entered an age when this is simply no longer enough for what we need to survive and thrive.

By participating in any program which allows you to return to a basic presence and understanding of your “gut”, individuals are contributing to the healthy continued evolution of the planet.  We are finding that reconnection to nature and to animals in general, horses specifically is an effective way of living a more peaceful and energetically connected life, allowing you to rely on your instinct as a real tool in decision making.

There are many ways of perceiving and dealing with our chakras.  Horses are an exceptionally effective way of understanding where your blockages lay and how to manage them.  Horses reflect a person’s interior energy.  They are not aware of what you are trying to tell them on the outside, but rather focus on the true energetic intention you bring into your interaction.  You can be smiling on the outside, but if you are deeply frightened or sad in truth, a horse will know it and will reflect this back to you in no uncertain terms.

PREY VS PREDATOR

A horse is a prey animal. Therefore its only resource for survival is its ability to run. On occasion horses will use a “fight” response when they are afraid, but this only occurs if they feel trapped or unable to escape a perceived threat.  See any similarities to the way you might handle conflict in your life?

In horseback riding, I often teach that the most important part of your body to be aware of during any equine interaction is the third chakra solar plexus area.  It is your center of gravity in the sadlle. If you know where your center is, you will have a more connected safe and enjoyable ride.  By being aware of the sensations in the solar plexus, you bring yourself immediately back to center and into a space of recognizing the present moment in your experience.

When I ask a new nervous rider -

“How are you feeling”?

Often people will unconsciously put their hands to their solar plexus if they are feeling nervous or anxious.  If they are feeling joyful and relaxed, their hands move to their heart.

One of my favourite lessons taught to me by horses is that we are all allowed to BE AFRAID…we’re just not allowed to let that fear govern our decisions.

Horses do not react aggressively if you are afraid. This is a myth. Horses however will not stay with you, stand beside you or feel entirely comfortable with you, if you exhibit signs of insecurity because they will sense this and fear that there may be a real reason for being afraid, putting them in a state of preparedness to flee.

If your mind is scared, which happens to everyone, horses can teach you how to allow that to be, but generate a centered peaceful feeling in your body.  This is a matter of awareness and discipline. Now, imagine if you could take this kind of awareness into your interactions with people in your life? Your body is allowed to be fearful, but your mind is centered and relaxed knowing that the fear is only generated by your thoughts. The results can be quite fantastic.

The third charka can be a response to intuition  – our higher sense of knowing that goes beyond thought and human emotion.  We feel our “gut” when we are going to make a move in our life and are not sure which direction to take.  |We pay attention to our gut with our children.  We pay attention to our gut when we are placing bets on a football game.

Honing the ability to listen to and TRUST your “gut”, is a most important tool in spiritually understanding your life. Horses can be very helpful.

In this chakra exercise, we will work with horses to understand both how powerful our conscious and subconscious intentions can be, and how our intereacvtions with animals can help us to know our personal truth on a more profound and functional level.

Horses are animals which exist entirely off of “gut feeling”. By spending time in quiet observation  of the herd we will come to see how their subtle yet complex system of communication, based entirely on “gut instinct”, serves to keep horses both safe and balanced within their herds.  We will spend time sketching drawing or representing the horses in our own creative way.  Then in the round pen, each participant will be given the opportunity to work energetically one on one with a horse of their choosing.

The activity begins by using your gut to choose your horse.  Then later, once you get to know the personality of your equine partner better, you will come to understand and explain to the group what it is about that horse that attracted you, what it was in their energy that reflected back to you something about yourself which is of key importance in your spiritual development.

Horses make us vulnerable.  They are big, we are small. They are mysterious to most people and yet,  are quite obvious to them.

Being vulnerable and aware of the sensations of your body in a state of vulnerability will allow you to transpose what you learn about yourself, into your “non retreat” world.

Horses are gentle brilliant teachers.

I look forward to the continuing journey with you!

QUESTIONS:

1-      Can you remember some times in your life when you had a “gut feeling” about something and ignored it? What happened?

2-      How do fear, anger and resentment feel in your body?  Where do they arise?

3-      Did your parents and environment teach you to honour your instinct?

4-      Are you afraid of horses? What is it that makes you afraid? List all of the “things” you can imagine happening that are bad in your interaction with a horse.

5-      Finish this sentence… “ When I have a gut feeling I….”

6-      How do you protect yourself when you feel threatened?

7-      State 10 things in your life you have POWER over. List 10 things you are POWERLESS over.

8-      Where does your personal power come from?

ROUND 11: Conversation In The Dressing Room…

Soul takes a first step

Ego – What are you doing?

Soul – Taking a first step?

Ego – To where?

Soul – The next right place.

Ego – What if you’re wrong?

Soul - I am never wrong. Anyways, there’s no such thing as wrong.

Ego – Yeah…it’s what happens when you fail. What if you fail?

Soul – Again, just something you made up long ago. No such thing.

Ego – What if you starve and are left alone to die, in a forest, that’s on fire, with hurricanes blowing and snow…and dinosaurs!!!

Soul – Seriously?

Ego – I like my job.

Soul – I can see that.

Ego - Ahem…Everything is scary …you can’t do it…you’re not enough…you won’t make it…everythign is scary…you can’t do it…

Soul – Nice try. You are getting ahead of yourself (A-Head…get it? !)  I’m, not there yet…I can only be here. Right now.

Ego – How?

Soul – Like this. (………)

Ego – It’s too quiet

Soul – It’s how I can hear myself – otherwise all I would hear is your incessant chatter.

Ego – You won’t succeed.  How will you find what you need?  - you won’t have enough.

Soul – Yes I will. I always have. Something will come up.

Ego – What if it doesn’t.

Soul – It always does. I just have take the time to see it.

Ego – You don’t have eyes.

Soul – Yes I do

Ego – Where? I’ve never seen you with eyes.

Soul – That’s cause you can’t see.

EGo – I see very well!

Soul – If you could see … we wouldn’t be having this conversation.

Ego – I see.

Soul – No, you don’t.

Silence

~Namaste~

ON MAKING CHANGES…

Times of Change

How do you know when it’s time to make a change in your life?  How do you know if it’s the right change in the right direction?  What are some of the drastic changes you have had to make in your life? What was the motivation behind the changes?   How are the changes you make different as you get older?  Are you aware of the truth behind the motivation for the choices you make?

It’s time to make a change in your life when what you are doing is not longer working for you. What does “working for you mean”? This is a very individual thing.  I would however say that, to really understand personal needs, Maslow’s Hierarchy can be of great help:

In this pyramid Maslow ascribes certain labels to the stages of human personal development – a list of ascending needs, beginning with the basics of food and shelter, all the way up five stages to “self-actualization”, the place you get to when you begin to look for the deep inner meaning in life – when your exterior/ physical needs feel fully secured.

Let me premise by saying, humans generally don’t like change. whether we bring it on ourselves or it comes round the bend and takes us by surprise, we spend the majority of our time resisting the effects of change.  We live in denial. Even though the one thing we are absolutely guaranteed each day is that things will change; people will change situations, your body, the planet, your relationships – we persist in resisting.  We seem often overwhelmed an unprepared for it, as though it just snuck in through the back door and smacked us on the head.

I am not suggesting that you live your life in a diligently prepared manner – where I live we call that paranoia.  But you can come to the knowledge and understanding that not only will change happen, but you are able to both withstand it, survive it, become even greater and grander BECAUSE of it, and flow with whatever it requires of us. We have within us, as of yet untapped inner resources which can propel us to greater and greater awareness as to how handle the inevitable shifts in our lives.  I want to tell you now that there is nothing you need to learn, and nothing I can teach you about this. You already know this inside. I have nothing new anyways, to enable you to handle change and manifest whatever you want in your life.  You have been given everything you need already.  Your job in life is to figure out how to listen.  Pay attention to your inner voices that manifest the reality you live right now.

I always thought the concept of manifesting was really bogus.  How can someone manifest anything in their life – wouldn’t everyone be driving around in sports cars, living in gigantic houses if we could all do that? Wouldn’t poverty be eliminated and war abolished in favour of a perfect planet?  No, for me,  manifesting was for the rich and famous, who could manifest their dollars into empty dreams come true.  They weren’t for ordinary people like me who were trying to find some deep inner meaning and cohesion in my life.

But then I discovered what manifesting truly means – it means becoming starkly aware of your inner drive – the thing that moves you forward that brings you energy, that gives you inspiration and that lights up your world. It is the thing that makes you lose your sense of time when you are deeply embroiled in it, and it is the idea that motivates the next ten.

Manifesting occurs when the intention I hold inside of my own mind and heart is deeply aligned with the best interest of the universe. In other words, if you are following your “destiny” you will discover a path of least resistance, which brings you, one step at a time, to the path in which you can be of highest service and purpose in your life.  Now, this doesn’t mean that your path, if it is in the best interest of your life and all those around you, is necessarily the easy one, nor is it always the least painful one.  Our paths in life are scattered with challenges and bridges that make us stronger and more capable for the next hurdle to overcome.  It’s like we are building up a psychic muscle with each new sorrow and challenge.  The sooner we understand the benefit in the things we believe cause us trouble pain or strife, the more readily able we will be to move along our path.

A word on destiny:  we do not have one destiny. I believe “there are many roads to Rome”, and that ultimately, the place where we find our highest calling and we are able to be of service in some way to our lives and the lives of others, is as individual as each person.  How you get there and how it feels for you will entirely depend on what you are trying to learn about yourself.

My experiences in motherhood helped me better understand this process.  I had three biological children and four step children, who were all raised together as one family.  When my birth children were babies, I remember thinking at times, when they were sick or I suffered from lack of sleep, that I didn’t know how I would handle it getting any more difficult. I was pushing myself past limits of patience, worry and personal neglect that I had never experienced. And yet, as they grew older and stronger, we faced more and more challenges together as a family – even more difficult than the sleepless night, and I survived. Not only did I survive, but by the time they became teenagers, I remembered fondly the sleepless nights of infanthood – as I relived sleepless nights, but now for a different reason. Over the years, I realized that there were many times when I was so overwhelmed by the love and desire I had to give them the best life, that I learned to turn things that felt out of my control over to a greater power – the same power that guides our intuitive thoughts to the creative places within our hearts that put us on the road to purpose.

It’s the same voice that shows you how beautiful the world is. The same voice that comforts you when things seems completely out of control. Over time, you lose this need for control and even understanding.  You adopt an “it is what it is” attitude– and let things unwind with less and less interference.   The more you practice this the more you see that in some way, you will always be guided and cared for in your choices.   You will become more of an observer of your life, than a director or captain.  You will deveklop faith that in walking across the river, the next stone will appear upon your path.

Your changes and choices will come because the universe moves forward, with or without us.  If we do not make a conscious choice towards change, I assure you the universe ill remove what is standing in the way of your spiritual progress, and will remove it for you.

Choices made with the motivation of fear or avoidance, moving away from something (fear of confrontation ) have little energy behind them.  Choices made with creation and newness in mind; carry a greater energy for sustaining themselves.   Being honest with yourself about why you are making the choices you are making, is paramount to personal happiness.  If not, its like running through a forest with a blindfold on, and I guratee you will hit many trees.  Understanding your personal truth, with no judgement (put the gavel dowbn…it is what it is!) is the most empowering action you can take.  It is the mechanism that removes the blindfold, allows you to stand still and see all of the trees in the forest.

Surprise! This is the kind of change no one really appreciates. It’s the change you didn’t ask for, but fell upon you.  Death, divorce, getting fired, losing your house – these are chaos change. The shift in your reality, the sudden death of something you knew somewhere was no longer serving purpose, but you didn’t know how not to have it in your life.  Then, when it was no longer there…you found you had resources within yourself that you would not have otherwise become acquainted with.  Every day can bring new surprises. Being aware of your ability to handle whatever comes your way – can make for stronger more self assured decision making. Dance like no one is looking!

Sometimes it’s a change you are looking at; maybe a change of relationship, job, friends, hobby.  These are conscious decisions. You have time to process the potential moves you will make, the hazards and even the preparation for making changes.  The rule of following the energy that gives and avoiding the energies that take is good advice.  Life can entirely change in such a positive way when we consciously go to what gives us energy and avoid what takes it.

I sometimes work with women who have suffered from sexual abuse in their lives. In a recent meeting of minds, we were discussing how we broke out of these entrapments.  Each one of us, although the stories differed greatly, had a similar chapter ending on that porti8no of our lives.  There was a point where a decision was made, not by our physical minds, which had spent so much time preventing us from standing up for ourselves in the first place. The decision came from an interior mind – an inner knowing – as to just how, when and where to handle and end the abuse occurring to us.  It was a soul-choice over which no human mind would have any power.

When the soul decides to act upon something that is vital for its continued progress, it simply will.  This came as a great relief to us.  We suddenly saw that we had a lot less to worry about then we thought.  We saw how much we were powerless over and then even more brilliantly, we saw EXACTLY where our power DID come from. The REAL power: the extraordinary power of change and choice that resides within you.

The key to successful change within anyone’s life, is developing a knowledge of what that “soul voice” sounds like, and learning to trust your instinct, your gut, the inside voice that is the true calling of your soul.

It won’t be easy.  Some days you will question your direction, not to mention your sanity.  But, in the end, I guarantee you that following that ‘still small voice” to the place where you are your greatest most grandest version of yourself…will never disappoint your sense of adventure and fulfillment.

~Namaste~

 

THE WAY OF STONES

THE WAY OF STONES

The Creator of us All,

Is a great river,

And you are one of a million billion stones

Dropped in,

To roll and tumble,

Together and apart.

 The river will move you at Her will,

Guiding and protecting.

But you will resist…

For that is the way of stone.

You begin rough and edgy,

Fused to the tension of the heartstrings

And Attached to the mountain,

Rooted and Unmoving.

But the Universe will have her way!

And grief and fear will chisel at you,

Spurring you on to change,

Until you can do nothing else,

But let go and be

Torn free

Only hang precariously

From one precipice

To another.

Until suddenly

 You are propelled into the flow!

Released by the All that is everything

That which loves you most.

But we forget – For that too is the way of the stone…

Rocked by circumstance and suffering,

Each impacting your solid self,

You cannot help but resist!

Forgive.

In time,

Resistance is diminished.

One by one,

The solid heavy pieces of yourself,

The ones you thought you really needed,

Crumble easily away.

In this only – there is no choice.

Sometimes quickly – Sometimes slowly,

You become stranded at times,

Cornered by other stones.

Until you see that they are not your way,

And you finally surrender to the call of the river.

Now your edges have beveled away,

And you are LIGHT!

You begin to maneuver with ease,

Wallowing in your new found freedom,

And in a final CRACK!

You shudder and open,

 A tiny pebble now reduced to

The Truth.

An ethereal sparkle – perfect and unhindered,

You are moved gently onto the shore,

Only to find yourself

Snuggled sweetly beneath the foot of a small child

Building castles in the sky.

And there – your soul is released

Into the All that you are.

~Namaste~

Josee Brault

MAJOR LESSONS IN BLUES

My recent performance at the illustrious Femmes en Blues III in Montreal taught me some grand lessons for which I will be eternally grateful!  I’ll share them with you in the hopes that you won’t make the same mistakes I made.

First I have to begin by making a terrible admission to you:

I never really liked the blues.

It’s boring. Standard. Repetitive.

Right?

Wrong.

The music I chose for the event was selected admittedly haphazardly. Every song to me, up to thAT point, sounded like one of only four songs which represented to blues in my head.  Each song only differed by changing lyrics and cadence so I paid little regard to any of the real complexity of the songs.  I threw the general choices out to my Facebook friends and followers and a few good suggestions came back. I had to pick four in total, so for the final two remaining,  I really had no idea what to choose. I looked mainly for what sounded like ”standard blues” to me – like”Ball and Chain” by Janis (everyone “expected me” to do a Janis) and “Hound Dog” (easy…right?) originally by Big Mama Thornton, and crucified later by Elvis.

The F.E.B. festival is created by some very talented and professional women. An all female band, we only had one rehearsal prior to the show and everyone was expected to learn their songs on their own.  I went into the rehearsal thinking (there was my FIRST mistake!) that I could “wing” these songs./ They’re just blues after all. I was so very very wrong on so many levels.

I came home after getting my ass kicked in rehearsal, and sat down to do some real work. When I began to learn Big Mama’s “Hound Dog”, I realized I was faced with a song that was intuitively complex. I had paid no mind to the intricate and off set patterns of vocal and guitar entry and exit. I had sung everything in a 4×4 (my entire life??), but then later realized that most of the earlier foundation blues was extremely complex because it had not followed what we established later in the 50;s and 60s as a very predictable pattern of music.  I discovered we have dumbed down our music over time!  Sadly we have often have lost the real passionate feel of the intuitive offset patterned blues. As I was learning this lesson, my fingers accidentally touched a YouTube video for “Ball and Chain”, the last concert given by Big Mama Thornton in 1984.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSAOHwQhPcQ

In the video, we see a very old Mama. She puts out her cigarette, sits down, looks carefully at the audience as though she is sitting at a table about to tell a frank and frightening tale. It looked so intimate,  except that she was looking out at a sea of thousands of faces. She announces she is going to do a tune “in my own way”, and so begins “Ball and Chain”. A rebuke to Janis Joplin’s interpretation of her music in the 60′s. I had a rough history with this song.  Firstly, many people because of my rough voice and my big red hair, feel Janis when I sing, so I almost feel a pressure of doing her songs, although I don’t relate to her as an artist or singer at all.  I was at first doing Ball and Chain, which I had plucked quickly and mindlessly off the internet. I listened to the beginning, it sounded like a standard three chord blues and I just threw it into the mix, only later taking the time to really listen to the whole thing and discovered that in actuality it was  Janis screaming a horrendous lament for 8 minutes and seven seconds.  Recorded live just a few months before Janis overdosed, it was truly an anthem of misery. I couldn’t do it.

I quickly got in touch with the organiser of the event, apologising for pulling a song after the deadline, but I explained there was just NO WAY I could do this song.  I remembered this as I watched Big Mama Thornton focus her eyes, clearly in the past, and tell some man how she felt about his “hanging around her neck – like a ball and chain”…wow. I was blown off my chair. Her face twisted, her eyes rolled back in her head and her wide smile shone like a diamond in the blue light of the stage. It was magical.  This was a level of blues so honest and so completely visceral it entirely changed her appearance. She became at once beautiful and awesome…bigger than life.  I watched her eyes transform, and I saw her energy move the band through the ins and outs of the story. My heart-felt full, my eyes had tears and I realized that at that moment…I GOT the blues. I felt it, I knew it…and I was humbled. How could I have taken such a vastly important song as ‘Hound Dog” (which contrary to Elvis’s meek interpretation is not at all about a dog at all), and sung it with such a lack of respect! I could clearly feel Big Mama beside me, poke me with her elbow and say “girl…if you is gonna sing my songs, you better do ‘em right!”. “Yes Ma’am”, I replied silently and reverently. Oh boy. That night being called up on stage to perform my songs at The Femmes en Blues, I was not surprised by the feeling of calm and companionship I felt with this wise elder. She had stayed with me the whole week I diligently learned my songs.  I stepped up to the plate alright…but not alone.    Nothing that is as fabulous as what happened that night could ever be done alone.  Only grace, and the help of a friendly guiding hand, can bring you to this kind of experience. Here’s to hoping you all get the blues!

~Peace~